I am kinda sad right now. Maybe I am going thru withdrawals. Maybe I am just upset with myself for always being so damn picky. Maybe I am just wishing that things could have been different in my life. I go up and down; it is truly like a rollercoaster. To be up so high, and then to crash down so low… being down here means that unless the ride is over then I will inevitably go back up again; it’s the nature of the beast. But being in these down moments, with this anticipation, makes it difficult to look ahead to the good times.
To not even trust my own judgment. To be smiling and laughing on the outside but so closed off and guarded on the inside that actually being receptive is impossible. To understand me takes a certain quality, the problem is that most people don’t even realize what it is they are truly dealing with… underneath the outer shell.
I need to get on a plane!
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