A True Life Four Christmases

When you come from a "broken family" it is always difficult when the holiday's come around to decide which side of the family a person is going to spend time with that year, but what happens when you have two "broken families" to contend with? Do you simply chose one and leave the others out, or do you try to accomodate for all? Well this year we attempted the impossible (if not only for the fact that there simply is not enough energy to contend with four families over a single weekend) and did just that.

Dinner and Dominos with his dad on Christmas Eve

Prime Rib and Home Videos with my mom on Christmas Day

Potatoes and Presents with his mom on the day after

Christmas Cake and Conversation with my dad on the day after the day after Christmas

Sadly, when something is boring in real life, it seems even more boring down on paper so instead of boring you with details I will simply leave it at that.

Next year I am thinking of hopping on a plane for sure!

And I said I would not analyze it: Hi Panda

Hi Panda by Ji Ji

On first glance, what impression did these panda bears give you?
Cute?
Cuddly?
Evil?
Disturbing?
Those were Pandas?
Believe it or not, I actually find these bears quite lovable. Maybe it is because the artist intended for these figures to represent children born in the 80's, of which I am included, and all my life I have been dealing with each of the said emotions the bears are depicting.
Maybe it is because the media has desensitized me to the point that "evil bears" seem so far out there that I see them as anything but evil.
Maybe the little diapers they are wearing make me instinctively think "baby" and since, in order to ensure the survival of the human race, we are wired to feel empathetic towards babies I feel nothing but love for them. And an evil baby is simply unheard of.
Maybe it is because on a subconscious level I really do see them as disturbing, I am thus feeling sorry for them and only see them as lovable because in my heart I really want to help them.
Or maybe it is because I simply am crazy. Who knows.
All I know is that I have Angry Panda glaring at me from his cozy little perch atop my mantle across the room.
I need no definitive reason why.
My smile is enough.

...and repeat...

Hello.
My name is Rebecca and I am addicted to a game on Facebook.
Oh, its not just any game..
And its not even a good game.
But once I start I cannot stop!
The high score is taunting me..
"83,050? Is that really the best you can do?"
Each game only takes a minute..
"Can you not spare a minute?"
One minute turns into two, which turns into 12, which turns into 30 and the next thing I know I have spent a good hour trying to beat a pointless score.
I know that is what they want.
I know they have me in the palm of their hands.
Just one more time..
I know I can do it...

9 Ways to Avoid the Baby Shower Blues

All I could think of as I finally escaped those double doors was why I decided to waste close to 2 hours of my Sunday in the clutches of boredom, the face of awkwardness and in the presence of more strangers that I would have subjected myself had I took the city bus. Oh and the two words "Thank God". Thank God for the fact that I finally made it out of there of course.
As I drove down the road, attempting to clear my memory of the recent event, it occurred to me that I could actually benefit from the previous situation if only by ensuring that it was never to happen again. Well, if it was to at least never happen to the one person I have the power to guarantee this with: Myself.

Note to Self: If for any reason a baby shower is thrown in my honor the following rules shall be strictly adhered to.
1. The location shall never, under any circumstances, be held in a pizza parlor.
2. There shall never be more guests than a standard sheet cake can feed.
3. The noise level will never be so high that anyone has to shout to be heard by the person sitting right next to them.
4. Games will be played with the hope and intent of facilitating conversation between the entire group.
5. While food is important at a lunchtime party, that shall not be the main focus. Said food shall also not contribute to the obesity epidemic of America (this rule may be bent if shower is held outside of the States)
6. While it is understandable that not everyone will know all the attendees, the event must be kept at a size where it is reasonable for people to feel comfortable enough to interact with others. Showers must be split into separate parties for this very reason. IE: One for family, one for friends, one for coworkers, etc.
7. Presents are a key part of a baby shower, but common etiquette suggests not opening them within the first 30 minutes of the shower commencing.
8. Clowns?? Need I say anything more?
9. No matter what, the atmosphere must be keep light and unserious. Otherwise guests will be scheming ways to escape after only being there an hour.

Now that I have that stored away in case of emergencies, on with the rest of my Sunday.

Ode to the Bloggerverse

My computer was gone,
I was all alone.
But luckily for me,
I still had my phone.

This was all well and good,
for all sites but this one.
So I continued my postings,
after I'd get all my work done.

Then work got savvy of the fact that work related blogs are hard to find
Took away blogger (and twitter! and plurk!) which near put me out of my mind.

But what should I get? I truly had no idea
To the computer store I went! (in this case I chose Costco)
It didn't take long, there was no searching high and low.
I saw my new Dell right in the front row!

So now I am back, there was no stopping me
Thought I would swing by and share with you my glee ;)

And what did you do on your day off?

I feel very tired today..
Not that I don't have good reason, yesterday Brandon and I went hiking in the gorge... We set off around 9am and after stopping for a quick Starbucks breakfast, we went up behind Multnomah and came down on the touristy side. Went about 5 miles... Saw some cliche waterfalls, crossed some not so cliche bridges and had an all around good time.
By the time we got back to the car we were both famished (a bagel and a latte only goes so far) so we went to lunch at this cute little restaurant on the river called "Island Cafe" (when I say on the river, I mean ON THE RIVER... literally floating). It was a little spendy, but the food tasted good, and the atmosphere was pretty nice (and there were NO do not feed the duck signs hehe).
From there we went home and on the way it was decided that we would do the Ape caves. Crazy, me? In the caves?? Well, I was thinking out loud and just THOUGHT that it would be *fun* to do again (since it has been close to 20 years since I had been in those caves).
Uh..
I don't like enclosed spaces.
Now add the fact that we are in complete darkness, me with a flashlight that really needed new batteries (he said he was going to bring lanternS which was why I didnt replace them.. this was only supposed to be a back up), Ethan with nothing and Brandon in the lead with a lantern that only lit the area right next to him.
I kept kicking rocks, cut my finger, have bruises all over my legs... I almost fell numerous times and came within an inch of ramming my face into the ceiling at least three times.
Oh and did I mention that I was freaked out??
I did not feel safe at all; I was the rear of the group and I swear it felt like someone was going to reach out and grab me the entire time.
Now, I know that there is nothing in these caves, but I cannot help which direction my imagination turns... and I kept thinking about a horror movie that I watched a while back that took place in a cave... very inappropriate for what I was doing at that moment.
Since we didnt leave for the caves until after 5pm, there was not much left of the daylight when we got there. Now that we walked the 1.3 miles to the "exit" of the cave (which we used as the entrance in our case) and walked the 1.3 miles back, it is now as dark outside as it was in the cave. The only thing that let me know we actually were outside was the temperature change and the fact that I could see the stars through the trees.
Where we came out was only a 2 minute walk back to the parking lot and when we got there our car was the only one there (no surprise). There was not a single light in the parking lot so we still had our lantern/flashlights out when Brandon hears what he described as four-legged footsteps/claws on the pavement on the far side of the parking lot. Since my flashlight was so weak and his lantern wouldn't light long distances to save his life we couldnt see what it was and didn't linger to look at just how breath taking the stars are without all the light pollution of the city (we stopped a little later and looked out the sunroof from the safety of the car...)

We got home around 10pm; we couldnt have squeezed anything else into the day even if we wanted to :)

Facts and Explanations from the 1500's

Ever wonder where some of the fabulous sayings such as "Piss Poor", "Crossing the Threshold" or "Chewing the Fat" came from? Some of these sayings have been around for literal ages! I was blessed* with the information that I am about to bestow upon you by my wonderful** mother.
Here are some facts from the 1500's.
Enjoy!

They used to use urine to tan animal skins, so families used to all pee in a pot & then once a day it was taken & sold to the tannery.......if you had to do this to survive you were "Piss Poor"
But worse than that were the really poor folk who couldn't even afford to buy a pot...........they "didnt have a pot to piss in" and were the lowest of the low.

Most people got married in June because they took their yearly bath in May, and they still smelled pretty good by June. However, since they were starting to smell . .. . brides carried a bouquet of flowers to hide the body odor. Hence the custom today of carrying a bouquet when getting married.

Baths consisted of a big tub filled with hot water. The man of the house had the privilege of the nice clean water, then all the other sons and men, then the women and finally the children. Last of all the babies. By then the water was so dirty you could actually lose someone in it. Hence the saying, "Don't throw the baby out with the Bath water!"

Houses had thatched roofs-thick straw-piled high, with no wood underneath. It was the only place for animals to get warm, so all the cats and other small animals (mice, bugs) lived in the roof. When it rained it became slippery and sometimes the animals would slip and fall off the roof. Hence the saying "It's raining cats and dogs."

There was nothing to stop things from falling into the house. This posed a real problem in the bedroom where bugs and other droppings could mess up your nice clean bed. Hence, a bed with big posts and a sheet hung over the top afforded some protection. That's how canopy beds came into existence.

The floor was dirt. Only the wealthy had something other than dirt. Hence the saying, "Dirt poor." The wealthy had slate floors that would get slippery in the winter when wet, so they spread thresh (straw) on floor to help keep their footing. As the winter wore on, they added more thresh until, when you opened the door, it would all start slipping outside. A piece of wood was placed in the entrance-way.
Hence: a thresh hold.

In those old days, they cooked in the kitchen with a big kettle that always hung over the fire. Every day they lit the fire and added things to the pot. They ate mostly vegetables and did not get much meat. They would eat the stew for dinner, leaving leftovers in the pot to get cold overnight and then start over the next day.. Sometimes stew had food in it that had been there for quite a while. Hence the rhyme: Peas porridge hot, peas porridge cold, peas porridge in the pot nine days old.

Sometimes they could obtain pork, which made them feel quite special. When visitors came over, they would hang up their bacon to show off. It was a sign of wealth that a man could, "bring home the bacon." They would cut off a little to share with guests and would all sit around and chew the fat.

Those with money had plates made of pewter. Food with high acid content caused some of the lead to leach onto the food, causing lead poisoning death. This happened most often with tomatoes, so for the next 400 years or so, tomatoes were considered poisonous.

Bread was divided according to status. Workers got the burnt bottom of the loaf, the family got the middle, and guests got the top, or the upper crust.

Lead cups were used to drink ale or whisky. The combination would sometimes knock the imbibers out for a couple of days. Someone walking along the road would take them for dead and prepare them for burial. They were laid out on the kitchen table for a couple of days and the family would gather around and eat and drink and wait and see if they would wake up. Hence the custom of holding a wake.

England is old and small and the local folks started running out of places to bury people. So they would dig up coffins and would take the bones to a bone-house, and reuse the grave.. When reopening these coffins, 1 out of 25 coffins were found to have scratch marks on the inside and they realized they had been burying people alive. So they would tie a string on the wrist of the corpse, lead it through the coffin and up through the ground and tie it to a bell. Someone would have to sit out in the graveyard all night (the graveyard shift.) to listen for the bell; thus, someone could be, saved by the bell or was considered a dead ringer....

____________________
*if information is knowledge and knowledge is power then I am helping pave your way to greatness. Or at least giving you something somewhat interesting to talk about when there is absolutely nothing else to say.
**in other words, she was bored and decided to forward me a somewhat interesting email. Thanks Mom :)

Behind the... Nice Try

Found here

I Heart San Diego

Such beautiful scenery and all I can look at is that PINK TOWEL..

And I return from a fun filled yet overtly relaxing vacation.
One of the bad things about being on vacation is being able to sleep in every day if you so desire. Wait, did I just call having this option bad?
Yes!
Because if you get used to doing this it makes it that much harder to go back to the grind once the hours, minutes and seconds of your precious time off expire..
But I digress.
We had plans to go to Hawaii during this last week, but we didn't make it. I would say it was because of the hurricane but in all honesty it was not. Even flight loads would be a justifiable reason for not heading to the island of blue skies, overhead sun and a high of 86 during the last three days we were supposed to be there. But no, there were other priorities on the side of the other party supposed to be going with me that took precedence which I am still pretty sore about.
So we didn't go to Hawaii.
We almost didn't go anywhere until a last minute, 5 hour conversation took place and paved the way for at least something.
The key to a healthy relationship is compromise, right? Gah.

So, where can we go for only 2 or 3 days that would still be worth getting on a plane for?
There was a limited list of options. Really, just one.
San Diego.
Some highlights:

First off, being that the plane would be taking off at 6:40am we were supposed to be up and out the door by 4:30am, in order to have time to park the car in a free parking area and ride the shuttle over to the airport. Well... 5am came and I found myself still in bed, staring at my silent phone wondering what the heck happened.
Ok, stay calm.
And lets just see how quickly we can get ourselves out of here.
We made the flight but it ended up costing us $30 in parking fees in the end. Ouch.

First stop, Mexico!
Well, not *exactly* Mexico, but the shady part of San Diego really does closely resemble parts of the "nice" part of the city of Tijuana that I had the privilege of "touring" a few years back. Once we got ourselves turned around and properly situated we made our way over to the Ga-Slamp quarter for a delicious breakfast and a stroll around the city.

This is a view from the steps of the convention center. Sadly, climbing to the top of these steps (there were over 300 steps, I swear!) took my breath away (the view, it was the view..)

One of the main reasons we wanted to go to San Diego was to explore the beaches it has to offer. I was going to try and skip out on Ocean Beach and Mission Beach, just because those are typically pretty scuzzy, but somehow that was where we ended up for the first part of the day. What better way to make the next beach look pristine by looking at the not so great ones first, right?
Once we made it to Pacific Beach it did slightly work, but Del Mar most definitely stole the show.

What do you think? I know I wouldn't mind living in that house! And the water was pretty warm for California. But I am getting a little ahead of myself.. we didn't go to Del Mar until the next day.

The first night we stayed at a hotel on Harbor Island. Before dinner we decided to take the hotel up on their offer of complimentary bicycles and took a lovely ride around the bay. While the bikes were quite ugly, did not have brakes on the handle bars and felt quite unsafe all around we still had a great time.
While perusing Pacific Beach earlier in the day we both noticed a quaint little ale house with rooftop seating overlooking the ocean. After not finding anywhere interesting to eat on our bike ride we decided to get back in the car and drive the 9 miles back to Pacific Beach. We were told that there would be considerable wait time to eat on the roof, but since it was open seating we decided to take our chances. Funny thing was that just as I got a parking spot right up front, not only was there an open table but it was right on the edge with a pretty good street view. After dinner we took a moonlit stroll on the beach, a marvelous end to a remarkable day.

Remember what I said about vacations being about being able to sleep in as late as one desires? Well, not when traveling!
Early risers get to see more of the city, especially when only there for a couple of days.
After checking out of our hotel, finding a lovely little breakfast spot and sending a post card we were off for Del Mar!
Del Mar is by far my favorite part of San Diego. The fact that it is not actually part of San Diego is beside the point or maybe it is the point... all I know is that I love it.
After driving through the main stretch of the town we made our way to a somewhat secluded section of beach on the north side. The sky was blue, the water was clear, the sand was white and the air was warm. It was perfect!

This shot was on our way across the San Diego River, to the beach we spent most of the day on. Funny thing was that we had to wait for a stampede of children to cross the bridge first before we could even edge across. It seemed that we got there just in time (they were leaving).

After spending a good hour in the water and an equal amount of time lying on the sand we decided to walk to the top of the cliff that overlooked the city/beach.

This was what we saw.
From the beach we made a mad attempt to find one of my favorite sushi places of all time which is somewhere in Del Mar. Unfortunately I was unable to find it, which in one sense may be a good thing. Most of the time our memories of things tend to be fonder than they really were in reality and I hate to think that the place really is sub par..
Instead we went to a cute little bar for happy hour where I had the most delicious pineapple martini ever made. Oh yes. It was that good. Something about Del Mar I guess..
After cleaning up we headed over to explore Coronado Island. While not really an island, it still has its charm and I would highly recommend venturing over the bridge just to say you have.

The downtown skyline from Coronado Island. We spent the final evening of our trip on the other side of the bay where we strolled along the waterfront waiting for the sunset that never came.. The dessert at Tartine was good enough to make up for this fact however :)

All in all the trip was wonderful. Much needed. And definitely something that we will be doing again.
Soon, hopefully.

Not in the Cards

I am supposed to be flying to Maui in the morning.
The flight is open.
The price is right.
But guess what?
Felicia decided to ruin my vacation.
No, not yet another girl trying to take away the things in my life, but a Felicia of the Hurricane variety.
Now that I have the next 6 days off I ponder what to do. Maybe a drive to the coast? With my heart set on palm tree laden, warm, sunny beaches this may prove to be quite the disappointment. California? For some reason rental cars now come with gold in the glove box because daily rates are starting as low as $103/day in San Diego. $90 in Los Angeles (Denver was $140!! Not Cali, I know, but I was checking EVERYWHERE). Ok, well maybe some place that doesn't require a rental car? Chicago, Boston and New York are all impossible for me to get to. Not to mention that then hotel prices skyrocket when staying downtown. Even DC was overbooked, taking away any chances for the North Carolina coast.
My options are dwindling down..
Who knows, maybe I'll take a drive up to Seattle and spend a day or two. It still is on my list of places I wouldnt mind moving to someday.. and I will not spend my vacation at home. Oh no no no.

Did anyone else notice this?

The Oregon Brewers Festival was a couple of weekends ago and while standing in line for the ATM one of the members of my group pointed out something odd about the official banner flying atop one of the tents.

Look closely.. Apparently the Brewers Fest is always the last "weedend" in July. Accidental? Nah, I think someone got quite the chuckle over this one.

Now What?

You were afraid of roller coasters, but one day you opened your eyes and realized that you were seated in the front car of a very turbulent ride.
With seemingly no other choice you rode the beast, trying with all your might to not let go, but still fighting with the seat belt the entire time. Attempt after attempt to stop the car from moving forward proved futile and, finally, defeat was practically imminent.

Suddenly the car has stopped dead in its tracks.

An eerie silence.
An unnerving calm.

This was what you wanted, right?

Postcard Etiquette. Is there such a thing?

I have always had a love of post cards. Whenever I travel, or have friends that travel, I either pick some up or have some sent to me. This was why when I found the website Postcrossing I was ecstatic!
If you have never heard of Postcrossing it is a site that gives you addresses of people around the world who would like postcards and gives out your address to people from other countries in exchange.
Its great!
Just today I was given addresses of people in China, Finland, the UK, Russia and Brazil. So I fill out my postcards and head to the post office for postage.
When I walked into the lobby, I found, for the first time I believe in my entire 28 years, not only was there no line, but I was the only customer there.
Instant service ensued and soon I was putting 98 cent stamps on my post cards. Since there was no one there I stayed at the counter to put the remaining stamps on and the clerk said she would help me out by putting the "Airmail" stamp on them. As I finish with my portion I look over at her and what is she doing? She is reading what I wrote on the card..
Now, these are very impersonal cards.
Typically all I end up saying is "Hello! My name is Rebecca and I am from the city of Portland, OR. This card shows.... [whatever local feature I decided to share with this person]... blah blah blah... Hope you have a great day!" but that is beside the point!
What makes people think that just because it is not in a sealed envelope they have a right to see what it says?
What if it was in an envelope with the flap open? Would they take it out and read it? I think not. In fact, reading other people's mail is against the law in some states. Sure, there is an expectation of privacy with letters, but if the card is not addressed to you do you really have a right to read it?
I think it would be interesting to send a card somewhere with a tally section stating "if you have read this mark here" to see how many people actually read a card from point A to point B..
I have a feeling that the results will astound me.
Would anyone like to be my point B?
Email me :)

I am so excited!

I will admit, this is going to be my third trip to the islands, but my excitement level has been the same each and every time. With Kauai and Kona off my list, the next island to venture to is Maui.

There are canyons to explore, beaches to comb, reefs to snorkel, maybe even waves to learn to surf..
Even more exiting is the fact that the bf is coming along to share in the adventure this time. 4 days of him all to myself? That is exciting enough in itself :D

I see exactly where I want to lay my towel..

Before and After

There was alot of curiosity about my new (and somewhat botched) haircut and, as promised, here are some before and after shots (click on them, and they will open, bigger, in a new screen).

My bangs are quite a bit shorter than I would have liked them to be, and in order for them to even cover my forehead I have to straighten them in the AM. It was funny, I had my eyes closed while she was cutting to avoid little hairs going into them. I opened them while she was mid cut and gasped. At that point I didn't care if she was done with my bangs or not, I was not going to allow her to cut them any shorter, even to blend them. No no no no no. Maybe in a week or two I will go somewhere and have them fixed, until then, oh well. It could have been worse.

Scrabble Me Please

Do you know how hard it is to make any decent word when four out of the seven letters you have are I's? I do. And I found this out the hard way last night when I played Scrabble for the very first time.
What?
Yes, I am 28 years old, I pride myself with my lexicon and I love board games, but for some reason this game was one that I had never played! Even so, I have heard so much about it that I wanted to try it anyways so I picked up a cheap version at the store the other day and waited for the perfect time to break it out.

Staring at my letters, willing a word to come out of six vowels and one consonant.. while he simply adds an S to a previous word for easy points. Tsk.

For quite some time our scores were neck in neck. He'd get 15 points, I'd get 10, He'd get 7 points, I'd get 12.. then my letter rack filled with I's and my scores went down to 4, 3 even 2..
Towards the end of the game, his score now 20 points above mine, I only needed one letter, an I (ironically), to have a 66 point word to steal the game..
He wistfully said "if only I had a T..." to which I replied "if only I had an I..."
He looked at me, calculatively.
"Wanna trade?"
I looked at the board. Chances of him using the letter I was going to use were very slim, being that Q generally needs a U to make any legitimate word. There are four total, two were on the board, one was in my hand. No, he doesn't have one I thought.
"Oh yeah I'll trade you" I said, eagerly.
But what does he do?
Not only did I give him a good letter, but he used it to get a 37 point word in the space that I was planning on using, rendering the trade useless for me. Never again! (even if it did have us rolling on the floor laughing)
By the end I lost by 3 points. Something that I'm not particularly proud of, but with the standard being best two out of three, who knows what will happen next time ;)

I hate you, Bike Theif

What would you think if you were to see this flier circulating around your neighborhood?

I would probably make copies and circulate it myself!
I know you should never laugh at anothers misfortune and if real, I'm sure it wasn't meant to be funny, but I find this hilarious.

(Thanks Keane)

I will pass on getting in the pool thank you.

And we thought we had it bad with the horrid heat wave crashing through the pacific northwest.
Imagine how hot it must be here for them to put up with something like this?

Ok, why is it so warm right here?
Crazy.

Decisions

I am being dangled off the side of a cliff, put in this position by the one who said he loved me.
How long I am expected to stay here is undetermined, but there is no one around to help and the sun has gone away, leaving me in perpetual darkness.
To hold on, brave the wind, rain and cold on my own and hope to be helped back up on stable land after some time, with no promises of not falling at any time through out the ordeal.
To just let go and pray I survive the fall.
This is what I am deciding.

The Waffle Window - Portland

The Waffle Window
36th and Hawthorne
(503) 239-4756.
Sunday thru Thursday, 8 am – 5 pm.
Friday and Saturday, 8 am – 9 pm.

I was told about this place ages ago but over the months that passed, I never found myself with an opportunity to try it out. A few days ago I found myself with time to spare and an appetite for breakfast foods so we went for a trip down to the little window on Hawthorne.
While they look absolutely delicious, and the toppings are great, I really didn't like the waffle itself. It wasn't as fluffy as the ones that I make at home, and I don't do much of anything special to make those. So.. I don't think I will be returning here, but it is some great candy for the eyes..

"Blueberry Morning" which did not skimp on the whipped cream was a little bland in the flavor department. I felt almost as if I simply paid for a mound of whipped cream with a side of waffle and berries.

The "Razzle Dazzle" was my favorite of the two, the lemon curd was a great addition to the super sweet berries and cream, but again, there was too much creme for the size of the waffle.
All in all, I think they are concerned more with presentation than with actual flavor.
Quite the disappointment.

But I'm still hungry.

I just came across a quote that really hit home right now:

Most human suffering comes from our desire to experience reality different than it is

How hard is it to accept reality sometimes? Currently I am having a hard time accepting the reality that is my life, but its not because I want things drastically changed. No, I want more than I am being allotted. I don't think I am being selfish; maybe other people are happy with only eating half a fish. I want the whole thing.

Friends vs Strangers

I find it interesting that I find it easier to share some of my most personal thoughts with perfect strangers rather than telling them to those who care about me..
Is it judgment or ridicule that I am fearing?
Or is it simply the fact that this way there can be no repercussions for what I share?

If you love him, this is easy

I believe this one-hundred percent and expect the same consideration in return(see below posting). The hard truth of the matter is that people do not change unless they want to change. It takes a lot of effort to change any behavior and if they truly don't wish to change it, it simply isn't going to happen.
So instead of trying to mold a person into what you think they should be either accept them as they are, or walk away. It is what is going to happen in the end anyways.

Unequivocally Me.

I loved this so much I made a place for it in my sidebar :)

Originally found here

Some people really are not the brightest..

One really has to wonder what truly is going on in this man's mind.

A Milestone

When people start posting spam comments on your blog, that means you have become someone, right??
Because today I received my first spam posting (posted on my bday post):

Hi Friends,

I Find Absolutely FREE PlayBoy & Penthoushttp:

www.Iwontpostyourlinkhere.com

If I find something else I'll inform you.

Best Regards,
Maria

It has now been deleted of course, but I was touched that Maria thought so kindly of me to inform me where to find nudie magazines on my bday. :)

Mein Geburtstag (My Birthday)

Summed up in a word or two: Great, Wonderful, One I Won't Forget..

B came to my place around 6:30ish bearing gifts. A wheel to replace the one on my bed frame that was broken during the move and an incredibly thoughtful and heartwarming gift which is currently residing on my mantle.
He said that I could do whatever my heart desired, and what it desired was to do something out of the ordinary, yet me. I knew that this was my chance to do whatever I wanted without complaint so I looked into plays and shows that were playing on this Wednesday night and, unfortunately, nothing that even I wanted to see was playing. I then got the idea of the living room theatre off of Burnside (near the pearl) in Portland. I have been wanting to go here for ages! What was what was playing there? Nada. But! Looking at their listings made me want to see something foreign and The Hollywood Theatre off Sandy was playing a couple of German films which sounded promising.
Before the film we stopped for a delicious dinner at the Laurelwood Brewery (great beers, great food, I would highly recommend this place) and before we knew it, it was time to go.
While the movie we decided upon, Jerichow, ended up being mediocre, the experience was still something I would gladly do again. I like watching foreign films because they give you a sense of the culture from the eyes of THE CULTURE, rather than the eyes of an American filmmaker showing you the culture from the way they see it. So, while the storyline was kinda.. eh.. the movie itself was great. There was only one other couple in the theatre so that made it even better, our own private screening of sorts.
Once the film concluded we made our way up to Rocky Butte to enjoy the stars and the view of the city on the cloudless night. It was beautiful.
On home we went, it was after midnight, my birthday was officially over, but it was still my night. An unforgettable one at that.

:)

Sometimes you just have to show them off...

Someone looks a little confused, and no, it was not my fault at all :)

Change?

It feels quite strange to not live in the old apartment anymore.
To drive past the exit
To be headed home and realize that this is no longer the way.
"Home" really is relative
Everything inside of the new place is the same as what was inside the old place, just arranged differently. It costs more money, is on the different side of town and is surrounded by many different people in different stages of life, but none of the components inside have changed.
I feel as if I am going to complete the transformation, I need to actually transform, not simply move all my stuff from one place to another and call it different.
But then again, was I really trying to transform?
Maybe what this experience is really trying to tell me is that where you live does not determine who you are; change is not a given.

And all of Canada celebrates with me!

Canada day? Well yes, but more importantly my birthday!
Today is the day that I turn the age that I will be for the next 10-15 years of my life. What am I talking about?? Why, 28 of course! I hold firm to the belief that if a woman tells you she is 30, more than likely, she is at least 35..
And 30! Well.. I don't even want to think about that awful day which is but two years away now...
On to happier subjects! Like:

Mmmm..
Hey, everyone deserves a cake on their birthday.. even if they don't plan on eating any of it. ;-)

Looking for a Vegan Support Group? Oh wait..

The birdie will come back, right?

There are some things that are acceptable to be selfish about. Although, at this moment, I am not thinking of any good examples of this so maybe there isn't, but one thing that I am sure of is that happiness is something that is not. Especially when it comes to other people's happiness.
I will not stand in the way of someone else's happiness, even at the cost of my own. How would I be capable of being truly happy knowing that I made someone that I love unhappy? Everything doesn't have to be about me and I am fine on my own, I have just become too accustomed to having things one way; the idea of going back to the way I was before scares me. Not to say it would be exactly as before, but I have been so happy for the past 6 months..
I'm not going to be selfish.
If something is meant to happen then it will happen, I just need to have a little faith :-(

Gossip vs News. Insane.

This time it has to do with social media and what the American people treat as "news". Why is it that when I attempt to look up the news on the Honduras Coup and what is going on in Iran I am inundated with news of Michael Jackson and some guy that used to "star" on annoying infomercials?
Is this what the American people really want to read about nowadays? How is this "news" anyways? I think there is another word for it: Gossip. And when since did gossip become more important than news that affects the world around us?
An informed public is a smart public. An uninformed public is, well, you fill in the blank.

You, looking at me, looking at you..

Antarctica? Ya, I didn't think so.

Turtles in Antarctica?

This is so me right now.

While I am sitting here attempting to work, my mind keeps wandering towards other things...
Unfortunately, 4pm is creeping towards me slower than my sister in Antarctica. Or a turtle. Or water down a drain pipe. Hmm, maybe there has been a slight success, I was just wondering about tourism and the actuality of drain pipes in Antarctica.. rather than, op no, there it is again ;)

Deschutes 21st Anniversary Celebration!

This Saturday B, K and I went to the Pearl to celebrate the birthday of one of my favorite brewery's.. Deschutes!

While it was originally advertised as a block party, they were unable to obtain a permit from the city, so indoors it went, as did the live band and $2.10 pints. When we actually got there, however, there were more people milling around on the sidewalk with their drinks than inside the bar which reminded me slightly of what it felt like to be walking around outside in Vegas (well, it was a little different being that in Vegas I had a 60 oz container filled with an icy Pina Colada.. but I digress).
Even though there were 100's of people milling about, K noticed that there was only one person on the waiting list for a table outside... so on the list we go and about 30 minutes later we are given a seat.
The beers were great, as usual, and the new Black Butte XXI was excellent. There was something about the chocolaty goodness that kept me going back for more and more.. Too much apparently since, because of it, I have learned the hard way that when K decides to challenge me to anything in the future the answer from now on is going to be a resounding no. No no no no no, and no.
Oh, and the Habenero sauce?
Best taken in limited quantities.

Why did you fall from the tree little dove?

Yesterday, while sitting at my mom's house chatting, my sister R noticed the neighbor cat out the window.
"Ah look, it's Buttons!... Wait... What is.... BUTTONS! YOU LEAVE THAT BIRD ALONE!!" she yelled as she frantically dropped everything and rushed out the door.
We quickly followed and found a little baby dove quivering by the curb on the street.
He was missing feathers by his neck and lower back, and had a pretty ugly wound that was oozing blood. I was afraid that he would bite me if I tried to pick him up, so we gingerly eased him into a box and brought the poor little guy into the house.

After I found that he was so docile, I picked him up and showed him a little love. The poor little guy was so scared, but we did what we had to do and poured hydrogen peroxide over his wounds (he started breathing very heavily as we did so, so I knew the liquid was doing its job..).
They say that after a bird is bitten by a cat that there is something in the cat's saliva that is poisonous to birds. I don't know how true this is, and when I left he was doing quite well. He could move his wings, his bleeding had mostly stopped and he was breathing normally.
Currently I am waiting for a report, but I have high hopes.
If we are unable to find the nest, or someone to take care of him, I have agreed to take on the task of nursing him back to health and eventually letting him go back into the wild.. I am such a sucker for animals, especially hurt, helpless little babies.
Isnt he so cute tho?? :D

UPDATE: The Birdie survived the night and was given to someone who has experience raising doves. Lucky little guy :)

Fairy Tales are for Children.

Who creates these fairy tales that we, as American society, simply buy into as the way things are supposed to be?
You know what I am talking about.
You meet someone, fall in love, get married, buy a house, have children and live happily ever after.
Does this ever really happen anymore?
Wouldn't the more realistic approach be more like:
You meet someone, have great times for a while and you go your separate ways. You then buy your own house and live there all by yourself otherwise you will find yourself stuck still renting at the age of 28.
Or maybe, in order to fulfill the fairy tale you have to disregard one of the initial components and settle simply for meeting someone and getting married. Love or no love.
The concept of love is outdated. As is the American Fairy tale.
Both are in desperate need of an update because in today's world its better to believe in reality versus some silly dream that will never materialize.

Maybe I should try this..

Originally found here

The Dove

I'm so excited, I just purchased this cute little necklace from here
While I don't typically buy this sort of thing online (I like to be able to feel, touch and see items of this nature before making it mine) this looked so my style I couldn't resist.


Plus, I think it is a good symbol for the peaceful stage of my life that I find myself in. Hopefully it will stay this way for a long time to come..

The Puppy Mill Rescue Close to Home.

I feel a little bit sick right now.
I have been reading about the raid of the American Eskimo puppy mill in Kennewick, Washington for the past 15 minutes or so, and I have had to keep myself from letting the tears fall. Apparently, there were 371 of these little dogs, the same breed of dog that I own, in more than deplorable conditions. Some of the dogs lived in crates, some of them lived in shopping carts, some of them in chicken pens, but all of them lived in spaces coated with feces and permeated with urine. Some of the dogs had blood caked in their fur, not to mention mud and the feces they were being forced to sit and sleep in. To make matters worse, there were always more than one dog per crate and a lot of them were outside in the direct sunlight (depending on the time of day).
It took two weeks for authorities to set up proper facilities to house these poor dogs, but they are now away from that horrible situation and things can only go up from here.
If I had the means, I would adopt one of these dogs in a heartbeat..
Maybe you do.

Oregon Humane Society
Seattle Humane Society

Someone needs to give these dogs a chance, it truly is an excellent breed.

Rest Stop

The pond has become stagnant. The ripples are gone.
The wind is still, without indication of change.
One thing is for certain: I have become restless in my life.
When all the wrinkles have finally been ironed out what then do you do with the iron? I'm so used to it being in my hand that even the thought of putting it down makes me feel uncomfortable..

Raining Cats and Dogs? How about Tadpoles?

Some strange news out of Japan.
Imagine seeing rainclouds approaching; listening as the rain starts pouring, but upon closer inspection, intermingled in the raindrops was none other than little, unfortunate, tadpoles. On Jun 4th, in a small town in Japan, this happened. Apparently, around 100 tadpoles measuring from 2-3 cm long were found in a 300 square meter area in Nanao.

They were on cars, in the grass, on the pavement and were, unfortunately for the tadpoles, dead on arrival.
It was reported that there was a strange sound and then the "rain" started falling. Apparently, this sort of thing has been recorded in the past, but typically occurs when weather patterns are already rough (funneling the wildlife up into the clouds). In this instance, the weather leading up to the incident was completely uneventful making this seem to be a mystery.
In the town of Hakusan, two days later, the same thing happened only with small fish.

Gives new meaning to the phrase "raining cats and dogs", doesn't it?

Pictures and more info found here

Has society really gotten that lazy?

I really don't understand it and if someone could enlighten me that would be great. I have noticed that there are a lot of websites out there that allow people to post to all of their social networks at the same time and while, sure, a majority of people who are involved in social networking do have more than one account out there, do they not realize that their "friendbase", or the people that are actually seeing these updates, are also on a majority of these sites? Meaning, someone like me has to see the same update on twitter, facebook, plurk, myspace, etc, etc. This causes there to be a lot of clutter and eventually forces me to delete people from one or all of my accounts.
What happened to originality?
Is it really all that difficult to sign in to each of the accounts that you choose to have and use it like it was intended?
Or has the laziness of socitey spread to the internet, where a click of the mouse and a few key strokes has now become too much effort for us to set forth?

I Heart Failblog

Here are a couple recent photos that really made me chuckle :)

I didn't know that Darth Vader was Scottish!

How in the world did he get that goat to hang on like that??

The Troublemaker in Me.

Why do I make trouble in my relationships?
Why is it that when everything is seemingly great, I always find something to pick at? And while it may seem to be insignificant to some on the surface, to me at that moment, its a do or die situation.

I do not enjoy being alone, yet I always seem to try and find ways to ensure that I am just that.
*sigh*

Moving: Just like day in the park, when its raining.

Right around the first of this month I found out that I needed to move out of the apartment that I had been living in for 3 years come July first. I have always been wanting to move, but wanting and doing are two very different things, especially with the level of rent that I was having to pay where I was (it was very low).
So I started looking.
I didnt look far when I found what I thought to be a decent house for rent from one of my distant co-workers. The price was very good, so it helped me to overlook many things about the place that I really didnt care for. The age, the size, the condition.. the height of the ceiling in the kitchen, the carpet, the roof, the look from the outside.. I could keep going.
So a couple of days before I was going to sign a lease I took B over to check the place out.
A part of me didnt want to show him, which says a lot..
Once we got there, it was decided that that was not where I was going to be moving to.
Ok, thats great, he saved me, but now it is the 7th of June and I have no leads on where I am going to be moving to in 23 days..
The days go by.
Nothing.
Not to say that I wasnt actively looking, I was! And it was grueling!
Finally, after scouring craigslist and newspapers for days, driving around different neighborhoods every day after I got off of work and calling everyone that I knew that had rentals I decided to give in and put in an application for another apartment. Sure, its the very thing I was trying so hard to get away from, but, well.. I need a place to live!

The next day I decided to go look at a townhouse in Salmon Creek that sounded very promising, but things that sound too good to be true typically are, with the owners of this unit deciding to raise the price after I already put in an application. $900 a month for an old townhouse in a run down apartment like community? For that price you can get so much more.
At this point I was wondering if I needed to lower my standards. It had been almost a week since I put in the application at the apartment and I had yet to hear from them. I started looking at apartments in parts of town that I really didnt want to live, and quite frankly, I don't understand the pricing on these places. They are the same, if not more, than what I had been looking at before and they are just apartments.. and why water, sewer and garbage is not included in the price almost anywhere anymore is beyond me.

Finally, 6 days after I put in the application at the apartment they finally call and tell me that I have been approved and with two weeks left til I turn in my keys I jumped on the opportunity.

Its a great apartment. 1100 sq ft, 2bd, 2bth with a fireplace, A/C and gas applicances. Even comes with a free automatic garage since they were all out of carports. Much better than where I am, and I cannot wait to move in :)

Now I am working on getting my application fee back from the property management group that swindled me..
Currently, I would advise to stay away from Premier Property Management in Vancouver. I have a feeling that its not going to be easy to get my money back.

Men Vs Women and the Idea of the "M" word.

Once men reach the ripe old age of 35 is it really true that if they have never been married before, their chances of ever getting married goes down to a minute percentile?

Why is this?

I was talking about this very subject last night with a friend of mine. He is right on the cusp.. 34 years old. Been in a serious relationship for the past two years and says he is very happy, but when I bring up the subject of marriage he literally cringes. Why would I want to put on a ball and chain? He asks...

Ball and chain?

I am 27 and I have never been married, but I hardly think of the concept as a punishment. Yet another difference between males and females? Or is this something that should only be looked at on a case by case basis?

Camping in the Rain

This last weekend we decided to go on an impromptu camping trip in the mountains. Nothing was really planned, we didn't even know where it was we were going to camp until we got on the road and started driving. Lots of things were forgotten but in the spirit of the evening we decided to just go with it.
The weather forecast had said that it was going to be sunny. It said that it was going to be dry. But what was the weather like when we got there? As soon as we got out of the vehicles it started raining. And not just a little mist of rain, enough rain to get ME to get out my waterproof jacket and put on the hood (I never do that). This was supposed to be my first real experience Camping since all the other times I have camped it had either been in my backyard as a kid or in a "camping resort" that came fully equipped with swimming pools, shuffleboard and bathrooms. I was excited! And wasnt going to let a little rain ruin my evening.
Here are some highlights:


A nice little campsite, nestled next to a cute fast flowing creek of crystal clear, freezing cold water. It was about dusk by the time I took this picture, and we had yet to set up camp or get a fire started in the drizzle.

The drizzle turned into a downpour and the helpless fire we had got started quickly was snuffed out. We had found this board earlier to sit on, and it became the rain shield..

Finally! We got something to burn... I say "we" because yes, I did help.. I held the flashlight most of the time :) (ignore that pinkish flame, we would never, ever have used any sort of chemicals in order to help accelerate the fire.. nothing like gasoline or anything)

Kyle decided that he wanted some popcorn. The truth soon got out however, that what he really wanted was to see what a jiffy pop really looked like popped. Since it was neigh impossible to pop this on the little fire that we had the popcorn ended up burning (no matter how patient Sara was trying to be with it). This is Kyle being, well, Kyle. Dancing around the fire with his style of tiki torch in his hand.
I read the weather reports. I looked outside at the sky. So I shoved my waterproof jacket into my backpack just in case. This planning made me the only one to stay dry out of the five of us all night. I was also one of the only ones with dry socks since I brought waterproof hiking boots along with me as well. Not that I am gloating or anything. Oh no.

Poor boys. Dan and Brandon from left to right. I swear that his shirt was all one color before we left.

Ahh.. look at our cute little fire. Cute and pathetic can actually mean the same thing, didn't you know that??
While the weatherman said dry and no rain, it actually ended up raining all night and into the next day. As soon as we packed up and left it stopped. Go figure.

Talking with the Devil in my dreams?

*I don't normally make a formal recording of my dreams, but when a dream causes me to wake with my heart pounding and leaves me entirely uneasy I think maybe it would be a good idea to write it down in attempt to do a little dream analysis.

My boyfriend and I were watching a movie in a theater (it was a small theater, old and intimate versus a regular commercial movie theater). The rustic reclining seats were red and next to the arm rests were little tables with lamps to set your drinks on. Once the movie was over we left, but I soon remembered that I forgot something by my seat, under the table.
We go back to get it and there is an old woman hunched over one of the other seats, cleaning.
Brandon and I are joking around, she is simply observing.
I somehow know that she would be able to provide me valuable insight on our relationship so I wanted to stay and ask her what she thought. She said that she would answer any three questions that I may have (even though I do not recall ever hearing her speak) so I started to think of questions that I wanted answers to...
I come up with two rather personal questions (questions which I really want answered in real life but am too afraid to ask).
A third, a third... I need a third...
While I am contemplating Brandon wants to leave. He heads to the door, turns back and asks me "What, you want to talk with the devil??"
I glance over at the old woman. She looked innocent and sweet with her handkerchief over her gray hair; her hunched back; her wrinkled skin. Her dress was white but with all the red and yellow little flowers that were printed onto the fabric it seemed very colorful, but muted. Almost as if it had seen better days before the washing machine got its hands upon it. The white apron that was tied around her waist was clean and pristine. She had just got on shift apparently.
This woman? SHE was the devil?
No, I'll be OK.
"I'll just be a minute" I say
And he was gone.
As I turn to face the old woman she looked up at me with a genuinely evil grin on her face. This is when she changes shape and I realize that he was right.
The scene became chaotic. I tried to scream his name but my voice was but a silent whisper. As she made her way over to me I woke up in a panic...

I can still the look she gave me when I close my eyes.

From the Rose Gardens to the Japanese Gardens. Hop, hop, skip.

That's right, I finally made to to these heavenly gardens, which are located near Washington Park, in NW Portland. It was a nice day so we decided to venture up to the Portland Rose Gardens (actual gardens, not to be confused with the Rose Garden Arena) for a little stroll.
Parking was a little bit of a nightmare, and after driving up the hill and pretty much back down to the bottom, we found a spot that I was able to fit my car into (after much maneuvering, let me tell you). The instant we got out of the car, the sweet aroma of the gardens overcame us, and my nose was in heaven. Once we got to the top of the hill and saw the view of the city (Mt Hood perfectly in view in the background) my eyes were thanking me as well.

I hadn't been here since I was kid, so I didnt really know what to expect. Everything always seems so much bigger in childhood memories as compared to reality so I tried to think of it as tiny as to not be disappointed, but it is a nice size park! With tennis courts, gazebos, pavilions and even a stage, there was plenty of space for everyone (and also the location of my next picnic).
Since it was so warm we decided to get some Shaved Ice before we headed down, what I didnt realize that this was going to hamper my picture taking greatly..

One of the only shots I got of the actual gardens and it is indeed lacking. Its hard to tell that everything was in full bloom! And gorgeous! But this gives you a basic idea.
We were about to leave to go downtown for something to eat when I decided to check out the map to make sure that we didnt miss anything. This was when I saw that the Japanese Gardens were only 300 feet or so away! I have been wanting to go to the Japanese Gardens forever, even once went to the Chinese Gardens in the Pearl thinking they were the same (I know, I know..)
The Rose Gardens are free to get into, the Japanese Gardens do charge a small admission fee (up to $8 for an adult) but its worth the charge. The only thing that I would change would be an addition of a tea house or something that serves Japanese food/drinks. It would really add to the ambiance and lets face it, this is America, we get hungry!

It looks like a painting rather than an open window.. a view from inside the "bamboo" (which smelt mysteriously like pine) house. A great place to put that tea house I'm thinking... :)

I'd love to go back here on a day that wasn't so nice, thus making it not so busy I'm sure. There is something about being in such a serene place, yet bumping into people constantly. Something that slightly takes away from the serenity.. but just slightly.

Perpetual Darkness

I wish I wasn't standing in the dark.
I try and light a candle, but the draft won't allow the wick to catch flame.
My flashlight turned on, but the batteries died as soon as I pointed the illuminating light towards the shadows in the corner.
I would wait for daylight, but there are no windows in this tiny dungeon I find myself in and I cannot find the key to the door that I have been pounding on day in and day out.

Turn on the light switch you say? Stop batting away my hand.

Its all dangerous in its own way.

I am back up next to the fire again, warming my hands.
While I was enjoying the warmth, it found life of its own and crept up behind me; circling me on all sides.
If I was to turn and run now I would probably make it with but a few minor burns. If I was to stay here it is quite possible it would completely engulf me.
Problem is, I don't know if I want to move.