Sometimes I feel like when doing school work for a particular class I am just doing what I need to to get the A and then forgetting that information forever (or in more technical terms, the information is only retained in the short term and is not encoded into my long term memory). Today, however, while doing an ethical comparison between Islam and Buddhism I came across a very thought provoking quote from the Dhammapada:
61. If a traveler does not meet with one who is his better, or his equal, let him firmly keep to his solitary journey; there is no companionship with a fool.
In my opinion there is no better advice than this. I’d rather be alone than with the wrong person; with a fool. Not only would that then put a person at risk for going down to their level but it could potentially cause you to miss out on connections with people who are more equal to you due to the fact that they would associate you with the fool. Birds of a feather…
Saturday, March 29, 2008
Tuesday, March 25, 2008
Suspicious Salad
If you are ever wondering if you should eat the Potato Salad that had been sitting in the fridge for a few days the answer should always be a resounding NO!!
Don't do it!
Otherwise you may end up like me and be sick for the second week in a row on your day off.
And it makes it even worse when you see the sun shining thru your window.
Yeah....
I think I am going to go and make myself better and go downtown.
I deserve it.
Don't do it!
Otherwise you may end up like me and be sick for the second week in a row on your day off.
And it makes it even worse when you see the sun shining thru your window.
Yeah....
I think I am going to go and make myself better and go downtown.
I deserve it.
Sunday, March 23, 2008
Sipping Martini's at Midnight (least that was the plan)
Sometimes in life we get second chances. This was a second shot at a great birthday celebration for K.
So, we started off at Henry's Tavern for a quick drink and something lite to eat. After circling the bar many times we finally located a decent location to sit, right at the bar. I went and found a cozy location for our coats to hang as they pushed the three seats together in preparation of the night ahead. A Mango Mohito, Raspberry Drop, some other fruity martini which I don't remember the name of at this moment and we were good to go. Really, nothing much exciting happened here aside from the little incident with the female bartender. So I will move on quickly, as we did from this bar. (There was a little run in with an old friend outside the bar, some things never change. I am glad that I did.)
This cozy little bar is found in the Pearl, and was the reason that I opted to not do the little black dress that evening. We went there with the intention of meeting up with a bartender friend for some free drinks. Up to the bar we sit, they order drinks, I, being responsible and not wanting a repeat of the weekend before, opted to not have anything at that moment.
We ended up getting there rather early, it was around 9pm, so there wasnt much going on but the bar started to fill up quickly. There were these two guys that were sitting across the bar from us that in my opinion, if you put them together, would make a great representation of Michael Moore, that wouldnt stop staring at us. Not one of us would make eye contact with the guys but stare on they did. Next thing we know we all have shots of tequila in front of us and the bartender informs us that the guys across the bar had purchased them for us. We sat there dumbfounded. I was about to pick up my shot, walk it across the bar and give it back to them with a resounding "No Thanks" when someone convinced me otherwise... Oh I think it would have been funny! But no, not this time. So on the bar our drinks sat until the guys finally gave up and left the bar. Once they were gone there was no point in passing up free alcohol so a lime and some salt on my wrist later and I was good to go.
So a little while later J's cousin arrives and say that we should go to this club downtown. This dance club where there will be food and we'll have a good time. Ok, that sounds good. I am getting tired of sitting at this bar anyways (even if torturing all the men around me was quite entertaining) and since yet another female bartender was giving us trouble with us trying to order food I was all for getting out of there.
We're told that this dance club is called Ground Zero and is on 5th and Couch. I had never heard of this place before, and when we drove past it and there was no line I was kinda worried. When we got to the door and went inside I... Well....... This is what we found:
So, we started off at Henry's Tavern for a quick drink and something lite to eat. After circling the bar many times we finally located a decent location to sit, right at the bar. I went and found a cozy location for our coats to hang as they pushed the three seats together in preparation of the night ahead. A Mango Mohito, Raspberry Drop, some other fruity martini which I don't remember the name of at this moment and we were good to go. Really, nothing much exciting happened here aside from the little incident with the female bartender. So I will move on quickly, as we did from this bar. (There was a little run in with an old friend outside the bar, some things never change. I am glad that I did.)
Next up: Blitz
This cozy little bar is found in the Pearl, and was the reason that I opted to not do the little black dress that evening. We went there with the intention of meeting up with a bartender friend for some free drinks. Up to the bar we sit, they order drinks, I, being responsible and not wanting a repeat of the weekend before, opted to not have anything at that moment.
We ended up getting there rather early, it was around 9pm, so there wasnt much going on but the bar started to fill up quickly. There were these two guys that were sitting across the bar from us that in my opinion, if you put them together, would make a great representation of Michael Moore, that wouldnt stop staring at us. Not one of us would make eye contact with the guys but stare on they did. Next thing we know we all have shots of tequila in front of us and the bartender informs us that the guys across the bar had purchased them for us. We sat there dumbfounded. I was about to pick up my shot, walk it across the bar and give it back to them with a resounding "No Thanks" when someone convinced me otherwise... Oh I think it would have been funny! But no, not this time. So on the bar our drinks sat until the guys finally gave up and left the bar. Once they were gone there was no point in passing up free alcohol so a lime and some salt on my wrist later and I was good to go.
So a little while later J's cousin arrives and say that we should go to this club downtown. This dance club where there will be food and we'll have a good time. Ok, that sounds good. I am getting tired of sitting at this bar anyways (even if torturing all the men around me was quite entertaining) and since yet another female bartender was giving us trouble with us trying to order food I was all for getting out of there.
We're told that this dance club is called Ground Zero and is on 5th and Couch. I had never heard of this place before, and when we drove past it and there was no line I was kinda worried. When we got to the door and went inside I... Well....... This is what we found:
Ok when I think of a DANCE CLUB I mean PHYSICAL dancing! Not on an arcade! Not only was it horrible, but there was no way that I would trust food from this place. It was the low of the evening that is for sure and if we didnt make it out of there soon it was gong to be a repeat of the original birthday weekend! J didnt know that this was what this place was going to be so she says that we'll leave in 5 minutes. 5 minutes was all we'd have to spend in this place. Ok, so I can deal with 5 minutes.
I had a quarter in my pocket from a tip I got from a friend at work today so I plunged it into a speed boat racing game and got 7th place. I felt like I was at Chuck E Cheese with E. That's right. Ok, by this time it had been 5 minutes and I had it. My stomach was at the point to where it was so hungry that it was protesting and decided that to teach me a lesson it was going to eat itself. So I grab a very drunk K and we went out to find some food. You see normally it is me that is the tipsy one and she is the one leading me on. Not this night. Arm in arm we walk, me the protector, I fit well in this position (just ask anyone.. hehe). Where to go, where to go, where to go.......... we look up, almost in unison.....
Portland City Grill
Somehow we always end up at this place.
Tonight we ended up at a nice window booth, eating teriyaki chicken spring rolls and eventually, after waiting for them to make us a piece of chocolate hazelnut cheesecake from scratch we enjoyed that as well.
All in all the evening was great. I went home with a smile on my face and woke this morning feeling quite refreshed. Altho next weekend I do believe that I am going to be laying low... Going out three weekends in a row has gotten to be quite tiring... but I really cannot wait until the next time the three of us go galavanting about downtown portland after hours... hehe
Saturday, March 22, 2008
Propitious Timing
I am in a good mood.
Not only am I back to 100%;
Have plans to be sipping martinis at midnight;
Found yet another reason to wear my fabulous new shoes;
Feel that things are finally coming together.
But today I saw the reason.
And that reason has given me the push that I needed.
The push that I needed to feel like there is nothing worth settling for.
I know my worth.
And I will not settle for less! :)
Good thing for Starbucks! Ha ha ha
Not only am I back to 100%;
Have plans to be sipping martinis at midnight;
Found yet another reason to wear my fabulous new shoes;
Feel that things are finally coming together.
But today I saw the reason.
And that reason has given me the push that I needed.
The push that I needed to feel like there is nothing worth settling for.
I know my worth.
And I will not settle for less! :)
Good thing for Starbucks! Ha ha ha
Friday, March 21, 2008
No dodging it this time
It’s so easy to take things for granted when you have them. I for one have fallen victim to this. To plan things, to manage time, to work out schedules all with the hopes and expectations that the things will be accomplished in the time you allot. Typically for me this always works out. No matter how down to the wire I plan things I always get things done. Not the case when you loose your health.
I am never sick.
Least not until come Tuesday night when the headache started.
I thought that it was just due to the fact that I had a big exam for my Cognition class and was overloading on my note cards, but after the exam was over and done with the headache didn’t leave with my apprehension. I was tired and attempted to go to bed early but if you know me you know that that never happens.
The next day I woke not feeling the greatest, but I attributed it to other things, forced myself out of bed and went downtown. While I was sitting on a bench, basking in the sun reading “Prisoner without a name, cell without a number” (or maybe it’s the other way around?? Haha, still loopy on my 10% alcohol cold medicine). Anyways, I was sitting there and I started to feel really dizzy and my nose was starting to run uncontrollably. Ok, time to get home.
So from there I headed up to the school to kill some time before I had to get E so I was on the computer when it really started to get me. My eyes were watering, I couldn’t stop sneezing and you know, even if you blow your nose onto a tissue it still feels just wrong to pick up the mouse again… sorry whoever sat there after me!
That night I couldn’t sleep longer than 20 minutes at a stretch. I was hot, cold, HOT, COLD!!! I was sneezing 12 times in a row! And couldn’t stop coughing. I was to the point to where I was going to the dr first thing in the morning (and I don’t go to the dr unless I absolutely have to).
That morning I made out a list of priorities for me to do
A) Get E to school
B) Get to the store to pick up some meds and OJ because I ran out of the cold medicine I had the night before
C) Somehow make it home
This is the horrible thing about being single, the fact that even when you are so sick you can hardly stand up you still have to take care of everything on your own. It doesn’t matter, it still has to be done. Now, I didn’t even think about going to my statistics class yesterday, I was sleeping. And come 3pm I drug myself out of bed to go back and pick E up yet again. Next thing I knew it was 9pm and again I had to force myself up to head up to Woodland. On my way up the stairs I was so cold my body started convulsing! I didn’t know how I was going to make it to work today, but somehow, come 5am when the alarm went off this morning, I wasn’t feeling half as bad as I was yesterday. And I didn’t want to call in so off to work I went. Hopefully I will be 100% by Saturday…. Right K?? hahaha
I am never sick.
Least not until come Tuesday night when the headache started.
I thought that it was just due to the fact that I had a big exam for my Cognition class and was overloading on my note cards, but after the exam was over and done with the headache didn’t leave with my apprehension. I was tired and attempted to go to bed early but if you know me you know that that never happens.
The next day I woke not feeling the greatest, but I attributed it to other things, forced myself out of bed and went downtown. While I was sitting on a bench, basking in the sun reading “Prisoner without a name, cell without a number” (or maybe it’s the other way around?? Haha, still loopy on my 10% alcohol cold medicine). Anyways, I was sitting there and I started to feel really dizzy and my nose was starting to run uncontrollably. Ok, time to get home.
So from there I headed up to the school to kill some time before I had to get E so I was on the computer when it really started to get me. My eyes were watering, I couldn’t stop sneezing and you know, even if you blow your nose onto a tissue it still feels just wrong to pick up the mouse again… sorry whoever sat there after me!
That night I couldn’t sleep longer than 20 minutes at a stretch. I was hot, cold, HOT, COLD!!! I was sneezing 12 times in a row! And couldn’t stop coughing. I was to the point to where I was going to the dr first thing in the morning (and I don’t go to the dr unless I absolutely have to).
That morning I made out a list of priorities for me to do
A) Get E to school
B) Get to the store to pick up some meds and OJ because I ran out of the cold medicine I had the night before
C) Somehow make it home
This is the horrible thing about being single, the fact that even when you are so sick you can hardly stand up you still have to take care of everything on your own. It doesn’t matter, it still has to be done. Now, I didn’t even think about going to my statistics class yesterday, I was sleeping. And come 3pm I drug myself out of bed to go back and pick E up yet again. Next thing I knew it was 9pm and again I had to force myself up to head up to Woodland. On my way up the stairs I was so cold my body started convulsing! I didn’t know how I was going to make it to work today, but somehow, come 5am when the alarm went off this morning, I wasn’t feeling half as bad as I was yesterday. And I didn’t want to call in so off to work I went. Hopefully I will be 100% by Saturday…. Right K?? hahaha
Monday, March 17, 2008
And they say women are hard to figure out.
Is there really a way to let a guy down easy, or do I have to be mean?
I don’t want to be mean, but I don’t want to be bothered when it’s obvious that I do not like you.
There are certain signs, certain things a girl will do if they like a guy. Believe me. I know.
a) First things first, they will give you their phone number.
b) Then, getting a call back is a for sure sign.
c) If asked out on a date, if they cannot go yet want to they will offer up a time when they can.
d) Not getting a response to a text message is not because they are just too busy. There is no such thing as too busy if you really like the person.
e) If you actually are getting a response and they suddenly become quiet after you ask them what they are doing this next weekend it is because they don’t want to tell you and give you false hopes (or they don’t want you to show up there unexpectedly), not due to any other reason.
f) Ignoring someone is not playing hard to get no matter how much you want to believe it is.
g) Never try to justify why you never hear from them; it’s probably because they are just not thinking about you and when a girl truly likes a guy they are consistently on their mind.
It really is as simple as that.
And they say women are hard to figure out.
I don’t want to be mean, but I don’t want to be bothered when it’s obvious that I do not like you.
There are certain signs, certain things a girl will do if they like a guy. Believe me. I know.
a) First things first, they will give you their phone number.
b) Then, getting a call back is a for sure sign.
c) If asked out on a date, if they cannot go yet want to they will offer up a time when they can.
d) Not getting a response to a text message is not because they are just too busy. There is no such thing as too busy if you really like the person.
e) If you actually are getting a response and they suddenly become quiet after you ask them what they are doing this next weekend it is because they don’t want to tell you and give you false hopes (or they don’t want you to show up there unexpectedly), not due to any other reason.
f) Ignoring someone is not playing hard to get no matter how much you want to believe it is.
g) Never try to justify why you never hear from them; it’s probably because they are just not thinking about you and when a girl truly likes a guy they are consistently on their mind.
It really is as simple as that.
And they say women are hard to figure out.
Solo this weekend
Don't let the name fool you..
Solo, the nightclub in the pearl, is definitely not a place where you will find yourself alone...
Saturday, March 15th, 2008
9:30pm to 2:30am
So this weekend I was invited out to above club by an old friend of mine.
My girlfriends were either:
A) Working
B) Sick
C) Out of Town
D) Stuck in a small town far away doing homework
E) All of the Above
So I let him know that I would love to join him, but really didn't know because of the circumstances. He told me to not worry about it, to come and hang out with him and have a good time. He then said that it was a Vegas theme, so to dress nice. That was all I needed to hear, being that I had a little black dress that was begging to be worn and last weekend's fiasco was still needing to be deleted from my mind I decided to just do it. And besides, I love an occasion that allows me to go out and buy a new pair of shoes.
Lets just say it worked.
I get there around 9:30ish and there is already a line around the corner.
I didn't want to stand in line so I go up to the bouncer and get right in. Didn't have to pay either, which was nice. I get upstairs and am greeted by my friend and his entourage and am shown to our section in the VIP lounge.
I then head down to the bar to get the one and only drink that I will purchase for the night.. my typical Mai Tai and this was where the fun started.
"You are GORGOEOUS, do you know that??" he said to me..
"I am not going to give you any more of a tip just because you said that you know" I say mischievously as I walk away.
I glace back and he was staring at me, speechless...
So I head back over to the group and start scanning the crowd. There were a couple of people that I knew from my days as a club hopper, I made my rounds and said hi. But there was no one that was catching my interest so I went back up to the group of guys that I was with.
I feel my phone going off in the purse that I despise since I left the little black purse that I typically take out in K's car last weekend. I really shouldn't have opened it. I should have just left it alone. But we all know how I get when I am drinking, have unresolved issues and my cell phone. It was a message from my friend telling me something that I really shouldn't have been told, so I decide to ask the ex about it. Yeah, that was my first mistake... But I couldn't resist. And that was when I decided that I needed a real drink.
I was with my friends brother, DS, who I spent a majority of the evening with, who could tell I was distressed and said that he would get me a drink.
"What do you want?" he asks
"I really don't care, as long as it is strong..." I say
"What about an AMF??"
"Eh?? Whatever, sounds good"
"You do know what AMF stands for, right?"
I look at him puzzled, attempting to associate the letters with words but came up blank.
"Adios Mother F-er"
"Ha ha.. yeah, that sounds great!"
Little did I know what was really in this drink, and after waiting in line for 20 minutes to get to the bar, I was in awe as the bartender made it, four bottles of liquor going at once. Another shot of something. A quarter inch of sprite. A lemon on the side of the glass, about $9 later and I am good to go.
Here is the official recipe:
AMF
1 shot Vodka
1 shot Gin
1 shot Rum
1 Shot Triple Sec
1 Shot Blue Curisso
A splash of Sweet and Sour.
Amazingly it tasted great. I don't know if it was just due to the fact that I wanted to escape my conscious mind that desperately or what. But he gave me 5 minutes to drink it and drink it I did. Even though I was half tempted to see him try and pry that drink from my hands after those five minutes were up.. hehe
So anyways, this was when I started dancing. The crowd had gotten dense, there were people everywhere. And lets just say that it can be quite fun dancing and dashing... not getting their hopes up because there is no way that I would go home with anyone from a bar but sometimes its great to just dance your troubles away.......
2am came.
It is the time when the men get desperate and try every line they can in an attempt to get you to go home with them. All they get from me is "uh, no thanks" or "maybe you should ask her (as I point to someone across the room) she looks much more drunk than I am"
I got my coat.
Walked back to my car.
And went home.
In my opinion its better to go home alone than to go with a stranger, no matter how lonely you are at the moment.
Solo, the nightclub in the pearl, is definitely not a place where you will find yourself alone...
Saturday, March 15th, 2008
9:30pm to 2:30am
So this weekend I was invited out to above club by an old friend of mine.
My girlfriends were either:
A) Working
B) Sick
C) Out of Town
D) Stuck in a small town far away doing homework
E) All of the Above
So I let him know that I would love to join him, but really didn't know because of the circumstances. He told me to not worry about it, to come and hang out with him and have a good time. He then said that it was a Vegas theme, so to dress nice. That was all I needed to hear, being that I had a little black dress that was begging to be worn and last weekend's fiasco was still needing to be deleted from my mind I decided to just do it. And besides, I love an occasion that allows me to go out and buy a new pair of shoes.
Lets just say it worked.
I get there around 9:30ish and there is already a line around the corner.
I didn't want to stand in line so I go up to the bouncer and get right in. Didn't have to pay either, which was nice. I get upstairs and am greeted by my friend and his entourage and am shown to our section in the VIP lounge.
I then head down to the bar to get the one and only drink that I will purchase for the night.. my typical Mai Tai and this was where the fun started.
"You are GORGOEOUS, do you know that??" he said to me..
"I am not going to give you any more of a tip just because you said that you know" I say mischievously as I walk away.
I glace back and he was staring at me, speechless...
So I head back over to the group and start scanning the crowd. There were a couple of people that I knew from my days as a club hopper, I made my rounds and said hi. But there was no one that was catching my interest so I went back up to the group of guys that I was with.
I feel my phone going off in the purse that I despise since I left the little black purse that I typically take out in K's car last weekend. I really shouldn't have opened it. I should have just left it alone. But we all know how I get when I am drinking, have unresolved issues and my cell phone. It was a message from my friend telling me something that I really shouldn't have been told, so I decide to ask the ex about it. Yeah, that was my first mistake... But I couldn't resist. And that was when I decided that I needed a real drink.
I was with my friends brother, DS, who I spent a majority of the evening with, who could tell I was distressed and said that he would get me a drink.
"What do you want?" he asks
"I really don't care, as long as it is strong..." I say
"What about an AMF??"
"Eh?? Whatever, sounds good"
"You do know what AMF stands for, right?"
I look at him puzzled, attempting to associate the letters with words but came up blank.
"Adios Mother F-er"
"Ha ha.. yeah, that sounds great!"
Little did I know what was really in this drink, and after waiting in line for 20 minutes to get to the bar, I was in awe as the bartender made it, four bottles of liquor going at once. Another shot of something. A quarter inch of sprite. A lemon on the side of the glass, about $9 later and I am good to go.
Here is the official recipe:
AMF
1 shot Vodka
1 shot Gin
1 shot Rum
1 Shot Triple Sec
1 Shot Blue Curisso
A splash of Sweet and Sour.
Amazingly it tasted great. I don't know if it was just due to the fact that I wanted to escape my conscious mind that desperately or what. But he gave me 5 minutes to drink it and drink it I did. Even though I was half tempted to see him try and pry that drink from my hands after those five minutes were up.. hehe
So anyways, this was when I started dancing. The crowd had gotten dense, there were people everywhere. And lets just say that it can be quite fun dancing and dashing... not getting their hopes up because there is no way that I would go home with anyone from a bar but sometimes its great to just dance your troubles away.......
2am came.
It is the time when the men get desperate and try every line they can in an attempt to get you to go home with them. All they get from me is "uh, no thanks" or "maybe you should ask her (as I point to someone across the room) she looks much more drunk than I am"
I got my coat.
Walked back to my car.
And went home.
In my opinion its better to go home alone than to go with a stranger, no matter how lonely you are at the moment.
Friday, March 14, 2008
My First Date since becoming a Singleton.
So I had a date on Wednesday but for some reason I was just not all that excited about it. I was actually quite sad. Sad! Sad I had a date??? Sad that I was going to have company? Someone that wanted to spend time with me? Someone that was going to sit down with me in the bar that I have been trying to get my last two boyfriends over the past 3 years to take me to?? Funny that that was the first time that I actually went there with a guy on a date. And the date…. Well….
I will say that the conversation was quite great.
I didn’t mind talking to him at all, in fact I actually lost track of time and ended up pissing off my brother in law off to the point to where I no longer have the use of them during the week anymore (ooooww, that man drives me crazy sometimes but whatever. I am not the one married to him).
Anyways.
I got there at around 8:05pm and as I was walking towards the place I could see him standing outside waiting for me. He really didn’t look like I remembered, but I was going to go inside with him anyways. As we were circling the place, hunting for a table to sit at, there was actually this guy at the bar that looked at me and smiled, he was quite attractive, but he stopped smiling at me as soon as he saw that I was with someone and I was too nice to ditch my date and sit down next to him (what do they say about the nice guys finishing last? Does it count for girls too?? I was told that I was the “nicest girl in the world” this weekend so now maybe I should be scared… haha)
So we end up sitting upstairs, at the very uncomfortable, talker unfriendly table and proceeded to wait for the waitress. He had just came from work, but is it really that difficult to maybe change into something nice-r, and maybe clean up a bit before you come and meet me? I know I made sure I was looking nice; I spent a good while trying to come up with something that wasn’t too nice, wasn’t too casual, wasn’t too presumptuous, wouldn’t give the wrong impression, etc. IE the perfect first date at a bar outfit. I guess that was too much to ask from him.
The waitress gets there, I order the classic “Black Cherry Walking Man Stout”, he orders some light beer that I didn’t particularly care for and we start talking.
Like I said, the conversation was great. I actually felt as if I came away from the conversation with knowledge that I didn’t have before. It was Ever-So-Refreshing to not talk about the same old crap that I always end up talking about! I like to be intellectually engaged!
We order some food and another round of drinks. I wanted to try something different and opted for an interesting sounding drink that was imported from Belgium. Ya….. it tasted like pine needles and something foul. I drank it only because it some how ended up being one of the most expensive beers on the menu. Even came in a cognac glass, which was the best part about it. Hehe.
Next thing we know, its after 11pm and really, I should be going. He asked if I wanted to go somewhere else, maybe down to a jazz bar around the corner, or wherever I wanted to go.
I had to go.
So he walks me back to my car.
He put his arm around me on the way and it didn’t feel right.
5 minutes later we get to my car and the awkwardness begins…
Since he did pay for everything I decided that I would give him a friendly hug but that was it. I give him the hug, say thank you, thank you with the idea that he would leave but he was still standing there… very obviously waiting for a kiss. Well, we all know that if I don’t want to do something, I will not do it. And this was one of those situations. So I smiled, I opened my door, said, “Alright, I’m leaving” and got in. I don’t know how much more obvious that I could have been but he stood there till I started it up and drove away.
I got the “just making sure you made it home ok” message
Followed by the “if you get bored on your day of relaxation send me a text or an email” message.
I did respond and say that I was home, so tired.. etc.
But that was it.
I am not going to waste either of our time. When he asked me a couple of days later if I had plans for the weekend I didn’t answer. Maybe that was mean, maybe I should have just told him that I didn’t like him that way. But I am not going to give him the line “we can just be friends” even though I really wouldn’t mind it because he is a nice guy, because I really hate to be cliché.
I will say that the conversation was quite great.
I didn’t mind talking to him at all, in fact I actually lost track of time and ended up pissing off my brother in law off to the point to where I no longer have the use of them during the week anymore (ooooww, that man drives me crazy sometimes but whatever. I am not the one married to him).
Anyways.
I got there at around 8:05pm and as I was walking towards the place I could see him standing outside waiting for me. He really didn’t look like I remembered, but I was going to go inside with him anyways. As we were circling the place, hunting for a table to sit at, there was actually this guy at the bar that looked at me and smiled, he was quite attractive, but he stopped smiling at me as soon as he saw that I was with someone and I was too nice to ditch my date and sit down next to him (what do they say about the nice guys finishing last? Does it count for girls too?? I was told that I was the “nicest girl in the world” this weekend so now maybe I should be scared… haha)
So we end up sitting upstairs, at the very uncomfortable, talker unfriendly table and proceeded to wait for the waitress. He had just came from work, but is it really that difficult to maybe change into something nice-r, and maybe clean up a bit before you come and meet me? I know I made sure I was looking nice; I spent a good while trying to come up with something that wasn’t too nice, wasn’t too casual, wasn’t too presumptuous, wouldn’t give the wrong impression, etc. IE the perfect first date at a bar outfit. I guess that was too much to ask from him.
The waitress gets there, I order the classic “Black Cherry Walking Man Stout”, he orders some light beer that I didn’t particularly care for and we start talking.
Like I said, the conversation was great. I actually felt as if I came away from the conversation with knowledge that I didn’t have before. It was Ever-So-Refreshing to not talk about the same old crap that I always end up talking about! I like to be intellectually engaged!
We order some food and another round of drinks. I wanted to try something different and opted for an interesting sounding drink that was imported from Belgium. Ya….. it tasted like pine needles and something foul. I drank it only because it some how ended up being one of the most expensive beers on the menu. Even came in a cognac glass, which was the best part about it. Hehe.
Next thing we know, its after 11pm and really, I should be going. He asked if I wanted to go somewhere else, maybe down to a jazz bar around the corner, or wherever I wanted to go.
I had to go.
So he walks me back to my car.
He put his arm around me on the way and it didn’t feel right.
5 minutes later we get to my car and the awkwardness begins…
Since he did pay for everything I decided that I would give him a friendly hug but that was it. I give him the hug, say thank you, thank you with the idea that he would leave but he was still standing there… very obviously waiting for a kiss. Well, we all know that if I don’t want to do something, I will not do it. And this was one of those situations. So I smiled, I opened my door, said, “Alright, I’m leaving” and got in. I don’t know how much more obvious that I could have been but he stood there till I started it up and drove away.
I got the “just making sure you made it home ok” message
Followed by the “if you get bored on your day of relaxation send me a text or an email” message.
I did respond and say that I was home, so tired.. etc.
But that was it.
I am not going to waste either of our time. When he asked me a couple of days later if I had plans for the weekend I didn’t answer. Maybe that was mean, maybe I should have just told him that I didn’t like him that way. But I am not going to give him the line “we can just be friends” even though I really wouldn’t mind it because he is a nice guy, because I really hate to be cliché.
Thursday, March 13, 2008
NW 23rd Ave, Portland, OR 97210
I went down to 23rd the other day because I was really craving a bagel breakfast sandwich so I went first to Kornblatts (but didn’t see anything I really wanted) and then walked down to Noah’s New York Bagels (which I really like now). I got a turkey sausage, cheese and egg bagel and headed to Starbucks for a honey latte. On the way out I passed this guy who was talking on a cell phone and was smiling at me. I wasn’t feeling so bad so I smiled back (actually I have been feeling pretty good now a days.. ) and walked on by. I get to my car and was getting the key out when I turn around and see that he was running towards me.
"I just need to know one thing" he says.
My eyes say "And that is?" with a quick shake of the head.
"Are you single?"
I smile, ironically, "As a matter of fact, I am. I just broke up with my boyfriend a couple of weeks ago" I say.
He then proceeds to tell me that he’s been single for the past couple of months and wanted to know if I would like to go out sometime. I think "oh, why not?" but really wasnt sure that I would honestly want to. He then asks me for my number and I thought about giving him the fake one I give everyone (hey, I truly am sorry for the person who has my old phone number, but that is the number I give to everyone I don't like! hahaha) but I thought "it wouldn’t hurt, I doubt that I will really like this guy but hey, that took a lot of courage and confidence to turn around and chase after me like that and we all know how much I like to be chased after……"
hehehe
Maybe that was wrong of me....
"I just need to know one thing" he says.
My eyes say "And that is?" with a quick shake of the head.
"Are you single?"
I smile, ironically, "As a matter of fact, I am. I just broke up with my boyfriend a couple of weeks ago" I say.
He then proceeds to tell me that he’s been single for the past couple of months and wanted to know if I would like to go out sometime. I think "oh, why not?" but really wasnt sure that I would honestly want to. He then asks me for my number and I thought about giving him the fake one I give everyone (hey, I truly am sorry for the person who has my old phone number, but that is the number I give to everyone I don't like! hahaha) but I thought "it wouldn’t hurt, I doubt that I will really like this guy but hey, that took a lot of courage and confidence to turn around and chase after me like that and we all know how much I like to be chased after……"
hehehe
Maybe that was wrong of me....
Thursday, March 6, 2008
Trash Cans and Coffee Cups
Ok, I have a question.
Yesterday while gallanting about downtown
Now I am on my favorite walking place I am half tempted to dump the coffee out into the river below but no.. I shouldn't… that would not be the right thing for me to do (even though if I was to dump it down a storm drain that would be right where it would drain too.. hmm…). It was at this moment that I realized that I had lost track of time and that I needed to be on the road headed for Vancouver almost a half hour before so I turn around and head back to my car. I'm walking quickly. Would have been running if the new shoes I had bought the other day didn't give me such horrible blisters the first time wearing them (sure, it was my fault for walking in them for hours without breaking them in first, but it was an extenuating circumstance). Can anyone guess what happens?? Yup. That's right. Somehow I lost my grip of the coffee cup and I see it flying in the air….. its like in slow motion.. and I see it falling… down…… down….. it hits the ground, the white lid flies off and brown coffee flies everywhere! All over my hands, all over my jeans, all over my shoes, all over the sidewalk! I was half tempted to leave the damn cup right where it lay! But no. people saw me drop it and I wanted to seem the better person….. so now, not only do I have to carry this cup around with me, I have to carry a dirty, sticky, broken cup!
So, back to my question……
Do people really wonder why there is a problem with people littering when you really think of the alternative?
I know I don't like coffee all over myself! And it all could have been solved with a nicely positioned trash can.Sunday, March 2, 2008
Broken
What do you do when your world falls apart, when the ground beneath your feet finally gives way and you are falling down farther then you knew even possible? Do you reach out to the one who pushed you thru the hole in the first place because they are the closest one to you? Do you spit in their face when they try to apologize? Do you even give them the time of day? What happens if when they pushed you grabbed hold and are bringing them down with you? Is it truly wrong to make them pay for what they did to you? Why should they be allowed to get away with doing horrific things without having to pay the consequences when you had to pay those very consequences yourself?
For once I am going to walk away the first time.
I am not going to be the one that is pushed down and comes back for more and more and more until I am so broken I cannot move.
For once I am going to walk away the first time.
I am not going to be the one that is pushed down and comes back for more and more and more until I am so broken I cannot move.
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