I am already done thank you.

Where, oh where, did this godforsaken heat wave come from???
I walked outside of my nice air conditioned workplace today and stepped into an oven!
I know some people like this sort of thing, some people actually prefer this to more... northwest-esqe weather. But not me!
I am going to run home to put in my A/C....
Then I am going to see if I can find a pool that I can lay beside (because we all know that the one at my apartment is more than off limits. Ha)

The Curse of The 2nd Date.

I am doing it again.
I may have found a good guy but I am about to pull the plug.
We went out on date #3 today (which is a milestone for me of late) but I just wasn’t feeling it. I sat there in pretty much silence the whole time. Its not like anything changed per se, but I just don’t know.
Lately I have been feeling very dismal. Very down. Gloomy. Out of sorts.
Why?
I don’t know.
There is nothing facilitating it.
I should be happy right now.
But I am not.
I think that it is time for me to just be alone to figure myself out. What I want out of my life. My school has suffered enough. E has been away from me for much too long. I need to stop forcing things and just left life happen.
And that is the last of my whininess. I’m sorry everyone.

Bleeghle-smark

I think I am sick.
All day today I have been having horrible dizzy spells which have been coupled with a shortness of breath and a numbing sensation in my left arm (which has left my fingertips cold as ice). I have had hot flashes, have difficulty seeing straight at times and have almost fallen down more then one time while attempting to walk. While at school today I actually took the elevator because I was afraid that I might fall down the stairs..
I thought about going to the Dr... but at this point all that is open is the ER and I don't want to have to pay for the ER... (I am really unsure about my insurance coverage there being that I have never done it before) but tomorrow... if this persists... tomorrow I will definitely be making a trip to the urgent care...

Everything will be fine.. I just want someone to tell me that everything will be fine :(

Double Booking?

I do believe I am committing a forbidden sin by scheduling a date with more than one person today… but my schedule has been so jam packed lately that I do not see any other way to do it!
At around noon I have plans to meet up for lunch with Mr. Xerox and then I have plans to go to the theatre with Stanford’s Guy later tonight…
Time wise, there is no way they can overlap, and I will not be skipping out on one so I can see the other so would this then truly count as a double booking?? I am not committing a Charlotte; there is no way they would run into each other outside of my apartment to discover my *atrocity*……… so I think I am in the clear on this one :)

Fireworks and Cell Phones

I have decided that the next time I go to a fireworks show I am most definitely going to bring ear plugs! Fireworks are merely an "for the eye" experience so inflicting permanent, irreversible damage to my precious, precious hearing for NOTHING makes zero sense to me.
Fireworks? You ask. Yes, that's right. Last night, after finding out the hard way that I really wasn’t supposed to work yesterday (What are you doing here? Didn’t Christi call you? I was going to call you but I didn’t have your number, etc, etc) I decided to head on up to Woodland to spend some quality time with E and to get some homework done. Yesterday was day one of the Planters Day celebration in the little town and they start the festivities off with a night of fireworks. E, my mom, Char-Chars and I all went down to enjoy the show.
While there I couldn’t help but notice that ¾ of the people there were taking pictures of the fireworks with either their cell phones or their digital cameras and to be honest, I would like to know why? Will you ever look at those pictures again? Pay money to have them printed out? Are they even intelligible on that little camera phone you are taking the pictures with?? Not only are you wasting your time taking the pictures, but the lights from the apparatus’ (or would it be apparati??) are kinda distracting to the other spectators around you when you are sitting in the pitch darkness…

Do people really have this much time on their hands??

9/11. A horrific event. Terrorist inspired. Or was it? Did you know that there are theories out there stating that it was not the work of terrorists but the work of the devil due to the fact that you can see his face in the smoke of the world trade center?
Did you know that the planes did not cause the buildings to collapse? Did you know that it was actually a highly covert, planned demolition? Somehow a demolition team was able to set up all the explosive devices necessary to take down a building of that size totally undetected by the 1000’s of people that were in the building that day.
Oh and the plane that hit the second tower was actually not an American Airlines jet but a military plane because eyewitnesses say that they didn’t see any windows on the plane that went into the building. Oh and it was grey. I don’t know about you but I know that if I would have been standing outside of the site that is exactly what I would have been thinking: “OMG there is an airplane going into that building!! Oh look at that little window on the side of the plane; I wonder when the last time they washed that?? I think I see some spots…”
I had always heard about all the elaborate conspiracy theories surrounding 9/11 but never before had I been forced to watch them. Well, not forced, but I did want the extra credit that was available for my Research Methods class... that is my excuse for watching the videos. But I guess I am just like the millions of other Americans that are brainwashed by my government to believe what they want me to believe... facts and logic.

A very nice evening (SG1)

Last night Stanfords guy and I met up for date number one at Roux off of N Killingsworth. I stress the N because for some reason when I looked at the map before I left I thought I was going to NE and ended up being about 10 minutes late because of it. I must say that I arrived at 1700 NE Killingsworth on time though, because I do want credit for that.
So we meet in this restaurant and have one drink a piece and after chatting for a while see that if we are going to make the play that we have to go and we have to go now. So we stroll down to the car, drive to the pearl, find a parking spot right away and head into the armory. The show started at 730pm; we got there at 734pm and they would not allow us to go in…. I was so close! So close!! Haha
So from there we decide to go get something to eat. He asks me if there is anywhere in particular that I wanted to go but I wasn’t really hungry at that moment. I was thinking that I wanted to try something different since I have pretty much been everywhere in the pearl so he suggested this French place downtown (about 10 blocks away or so). Alright, lets get walking (he asked if I wanted to get a cab but my feet were not hurting so I opted for walking, I was thinking that it would make me hungry anyways). So we get down to the restaurant and guess what??? Not only is it closed but they are tearing the thing apart! So… what to do now? It was at this point that I remembered that I wanted to try Andina, in the Pearl, but didn’t feel like walking all the way back there and all the construction on the road where we were reminded me of the melting pot… which I have been wanting to go back to for quite a while now. Melting pot it is.
We get there, they say it will be about a 30min wait so we head into the bar and proceed to order some drinks. I had one of the most perfect key lime pie martini’s ever and he ordered a Manhattan. I will say that the smoked salmon cheese ball was quite good; the crackers were not… unless you like stale crackers that is (they were the type of crackers that are supposed to taste that way, because they were “fresh out of the package” apparently; after I made a comment about them they brought us out some more).
Dinner was good… I was really impressed how he took charge of a very, eh, difficult situation when it came to getting the food we wanted. Impossible you say?? Nothing is impossible hehe.
It was a very, very fun night. Conversation flowed, laughter was non stop. At one point we were having a very heating discussion about why Mars doesn’t have an atmosphere now and if there was water on the planet where did it go, etc. I found myself half yelling! Spewing out numbers, facts and figures that the average person doesn’t just know…. It was great!! Those are the sorts of conversations that I love having but never seem to find anyone to have them with…

It concluded on a very high note and I am still smiling today. Its funny, when I am in a good mood people seem to approach me more. I have had more “hi, how are you doing??’s” today by total strangers then I think I have had in the past 6 months combined… all because I don’t look like I want to kill someone today. Hehe. Makes sense to me… I’d be afraid to approach me too. But with this smile, finally the good side is coming out to play.

:)

**gasp**

The tornado that touched down in Chapman, KS.Any picture that elicits the **gasp** omg! that this one did deserves to be posted........

Fire Cools. Water Seeks its own Level.

An excerpt from 365 Tao by Deng Ming-Dao that I found rather inspirational this morning:

No matter how extreme a situation is, it will change. It cannot continue forever. Thus, a great forest fire is always destined to burn itself out; a turbulent sea will become calmer. Natural events balance themselves out by seeking their opposites, and this process of healing is at the heart of all healing.
This process takes time. If an event is not great, the balancing requiring is slight. If it is momentous, then it may take days, years, even lifetimes for things to return to an even keel. Actually, without those slight imbalances, there could be no movement in life. It is being off balance that keeps life changing. Total centering, total balance would only be stasis. All life is continual destruction and healing, over and over again.
This is why, even in the midst of an extreme situation, the wise are patient. Whether the situation is illness, calamity or their own anger, they know that healing will follow.

What to do, What to do..

I am sitting here compiling a list of possible things to do tomorrow night on my date with Stanford’s guy.

Currently on it is:

Beavers game at PGE Park

Rock climbing at the Portland Rock Gym

“The Little Dog that Laughed” at Portland Center Stage (Armory)

An Original Post Card Art Show at City Hall

Mad Caddies, The Supervillians and the Schafers at the Hawthorne Theatre

For some reason Tuesdays are a common blackout date in events! Interesting and non interesting events alike…..
But if anyone wants a really great site for finding events in the Portland area try here. I am shocked and amazed as to how many different little theatres we have here. Its very exciting! Because now you know where you are going to be finding me…… haha

Peace.

While sitting out admiring the perfectly clear, star filled night I was struck with a realization:
Life Goes On.
I always knew this before but I wasn't able to truly grasp the concept.
It was only after looking at the infinite stars, the beautiful, crystal clear, almost full moon and what I believed to be Venus that I was finally able to wrap my mind around it. These stars and other objects that I was looking at were the same ones that people of the ancient past would sit out and stare at, contemplating their own lives. They were the same ones that astronomers such as Galileo, Brahe and even Ptolemy would gaze at when determining the order of the universe. Now here I sit, looking at the same stars, thinking that my world has been ripped apart but really, the happenings in my own little life are so small, petty and insignificant when really thinking about the big picture. My trials and tribulations are nothing. Things will go on. I will go on. There is no other option. Even when I do cease to exist things will still go on around me as if I was never here. To sit, wallowing in my misery when I have the whole world at my fingertips made me feel very foolish. I am not going to leave any sort of imprint on the world in that fashion.
Peace comes from the strangest of places. But it comes.

Uncharacteristically Me.

This last Thursday evening I had plans to meet up with a friend to try our luck at Afro-Cuban/Afro-Brazilian dancing. For some reason I just wasn’t feeling up to par with myself that day so I decided to stop and get a drink at Stanford’s beforehand because we were meeting at the Lloyd Center.
I get there, sit down at the bar and proceed to look at the drink menu. What I really wanted was a key lime pie martini but, according to the bartender, they didn’t have the crucial ingredient needed to give it the special *kick* so I decided to order a Vanilla Martini in its stead. It is around 7pm and this place is pretty empty aside from a lone gentleman sitting to my left munching on a caesar salad. I could tell he was looking at me so I may have glanced in his direction and smiled once or twice. My Vanilla Martini then arrives and to my amusement the thing is GREEN. I thought for a minute that maybe he decided to make me my key lime pie martini after all but after an initial sip it was distinctively vanilla. And very good.
So this was an instant conversation starter… he asked me what I was drinking and about 15 minutes of interesting conversation later I had to leave or be late, yet again. So I said my goodbyes and walked out the door. When I got outside I stopped and thought… you know, how will I ever really meet anyone good if I wait for the one’s that I am interested in to come to me? When do I ever just wait around and not try for what I want anyways? So I got out a business card out of my wallet, scribbled my name and cell phone number on it and walked back into the bar. I then walked over to him and said “you know what, I don’t ever do this but if you ever want to give me a call sometime you can feel free” as I slid the card onto the bar. He laughed, said he would call, and said that he was regretting not saying something sooner.
So we will see what happens.
We all know how I am. I’ll probably see him once or twice and then be done with him, just like all the rest. A person can only be uncharacteristic for so long…

One Night, Two Great Disappointments

Last night had to have been one of the most uninteresting dates I have had in quite some time. It was sub-par to the time I went out with an old friend’s brother’s friend just to break my record dry spell in dating. And in case you are wondering that date was more than horrible. He answered the phone with a resounding “Whaaaaas uuuuupppp” when he called to see what time we wanted to meet and the conversation degenerated from there.
So back to this date with Spiky-Hair Guy.
I was supposed to be there at 6:15. I left on schedule and even with a bout of unusual traffic I was almost there come 6pm. This was when he decided to call me to see where I was, maybe because he just got there and wanted to make sure I wasn’t waiting, but at the time it made me feel like he was disappointed that I didn’t make it there EARLY. Um, I arrived right on time. He should have been happy that I wasn’t late.
Since this was an internet set up I was advised to peek inside the window and if I didn’t like the guy or didn’t like what I saw that I should just up and leave right then and there. We all know that I could never do that; I am way to nice (I only get mean after you break my heart). So in I go, this time I make the call because I didn’t see him anywhere. He walks out… and he was ok looks wise. In this case it is his personality that I don’t like. He was very dry, very boring and didn’t have anything interesting to say about anything. I found this out over a very good Dungeness Crab Salad (w/mangos, AVACADOS which were missing but would have been great, asparagus and a little bit of lettuce) and a glass of wine.
The movie…
Well we can say that it was the second let down of the evening, but I will talk about that in another post.
We were sitting there during the previews and during the movie and he kept trying to talk to me about things even though the background sound was extremely loud, to the point to where we had to yell back and forth. Him asking me stupid questions and me responding with one or two word answers. I couldn’t even look at the guy, let alone anything else. I’m sorry but I don’t like the whole theatre knowing that I am on a first date with anyone. I could totally see myself as one of those poor women that I laugh at and make fun of when I’m in restaurants… one time while I was in the bathroom I contemplated the idea of just sneaking out, like I was a prisoner on my own date! But then I thought that I could stick it out the remaining 20min of my sentence… So the movie was over and he asked what I thought we should do. I decided at that point to play the “I work at 6am” card and tried to scoot on out of there (to my credit I really did work at 6am today).
On the way out to the car I had a lucky break…
I ran into one of my co-workers right next to my car and it eased the… is he going to try and kiss me and am I going to have to get in my car and take off before he can get close enough…. tension. (I have to say that the “Hey! What are the chances of meeting you here?? Did you see Kung Fu Panda? You really should take E to see that movie…” was the most exciting conversation of the evening).
From there I went home, filled my now starving tummy and curled into a ball on my bed in an attempt to sleep.
So much for my “interesting” evening.

You don't mess with the Zohan

Right out of the gate everyone knows that this is not going to be an intellectually stimulating film, but in some instances that is what people desire. I saw the preview for this when I went and saw Iron Man and I couldn’t help but laugh. When I got home I looked up the movie and made a note of the release date because it was something that I thought I would enjoy.
The movie starts out on a bikini clad beach in Israel (which is an oxymoron in itself), Zohan is very obviously enjoying a nice vacation and is grilling up some fish in the nude when he is called back up to duty to capture his Palestinian nemesis: Phantom. Apparently he had captured him before his vacation but they decided to “strategically” trade him back. It is at this point in the movie where you learn of his true love in life, hairstyling. He talks to his parents, saying that he wants to stop the hate and to stop the fighting but they will not hear it. He is the best in the army; best to stay where it is safe. So he ends up faking his death and hitching a ride with two doggies in the cargo pit of an airplane. He makes it to New York City where his dream of becoming a hairstylist is less than realized, at least for about 15 minutes. He then is allowed the job of sweeping hair in a little salon in a neighborhood which is under a hostile takeover by a mass conglomerate (the mirror image of walmart destroying local communities). This community just so happens to be Israeli on one side of the street and Palestinian on the other… and the comedy ensues.
Don’t get me wrong, there were some funny parts in the movie. One thing that typically happens with movies is that the preview somehow ends up encompassing the most funny, or the most scary, or the most action packed sequences of the film. You hope that this doesn’t happen, but in this instance this was most definitely the case. Some of the fight scenes were so stupid they were funny, but a lot of the scenes in the salon which were an attempt at some very crude humor (just wait til you see how he washes the old women’s hair, and the products alongside the wall of the backroom should just permanently be placed on the floor) just seemed too much for my taste. There is a definite crowd that they were aiming for (age 16-24 males I would say), and I wouldn’t recommend this film to anyone that offends easily by either sexual innuendos (or flat out references) or bias racial stereotypes. Sometimes I just get tired of seeing middle easterners always portrayed as slick dealing terrorists that drive cabs or are out to scam you of your money.
Anyways…
I would give this movie a 2/5. If you must see it I would recommend renting it.

Movies Movies Movies

If it seems of late that I have been seeing a proportionally higher amount of movies in the theatres lately it is because that is most definitely the case. From Ironman to In Bruges to Baby Mama to Prince Caspian I have been at the theatre a lot! Well, the pattern has yet to cease because tonight I am planning on watching the new Adam Sandlar movie: You don’t mess with the Zohan with a new friend. Let’s call him Spiky-Hair Guy. And then, Saturday night I am going out with the girls to see Sex and the City followed by drinks and more fun. After that I am going to take E to see Kung Fu Panda (the boy is good, he got two movies out of me by picking Prince Caspian over waiting the two days for KFP since obviously I am going to want to see the latter movie myself. The little sneak. He hasn’t fallen far from the tree.) So there will be all the more reviews from me in here (as un-thorough as they are lol).
Anyways, back to Spiky-Hair Guy. I do not have high hopes for this date. I have been told that I am too extraordinarily picky when it comes to the guys I decide to seriously date so I decided that I am going to have to broaden the scope a little bit because looks are not everything. I have to be attracted, yes, but sometimes it is not a purely aesthetical attraction. Sometimes it’s just in the way they look at you… or the feelings elicited in a touch… something. So on the date I will go.
Hopefully it will prove to be interesting :)

The Chronicles of Narnia: Prince Caspian

So he did it again.
Thats right, he (as in E) decided that he was going to be good this week and didn’t get his name on the board at all. That meant that I had to live up to my word and take the boy out to see a movie. So after school today we went straight to the theatre to see what was playing. The options at the moment were either Narnia or Indiana Jones or he could wait 2 days and we could see Kung Fu Panda. When he heard that Narnia was playing he got so excited that he could hardly contain himself. “Are you sure that you don’t want to wait until Friday and see Kung Fu Panda? You know how funny it looks..”
“No! I want to see this one, please please mom!”
Apparently he watched the first one with my mom (unbeknownst to me) and I remember when I watched the first movie with K I was less than impressed (in fact, the two of us were laughing and making fun of the characters the entire time “That is not how you would hold a sword.. Why is he running like that? Etc, etc”)
So, again, you can say that I was less than enthused when I bought the tickets.
The movie started at 350pm which gave us about 30 minutes to walk over to the store, fill my overly large purse with goodies and get back. When we walked in there wasn’t anyone standing there to check tickets so for all intents and purposes I could have just walked right in without paying (hmm… lol) but I had my tickets in my pocket just in case someone decided to stop me. We get to our theatre (I saw that Sex and the City was playing right next door and entertained the idea of letting him watch his movie while I watched my movie…. Only for a few seconds… lol) and when we finally walked in we were greeted with never ending open seats. IE: We were again getting our own private screening. (Now THAT I like. Something about the movies he picks… no one else is ever there! Hehe).
Instantly we start munching on our goodies… a habit which I am sure aides greatly to the obesity epidemic of America. If only we could recondition our brains to not think that watching a movie or television should be synonymous with eating something, but I digress…
The movie starts and I have to say that I was pleasantly surprised. Not only had the acting of the children greatly improved over the years they had between films but the storyline of this one was much more interesting. I must admit that I read the series in its entirety when I was around 11 but I don’t remember them in the slightest so I didn’t know what to expect. This movie is about the betrayal of the prince by his power hungry uncle who had an unquenchable desire for the throne. When his first son was born he ordered the current prince (who was only waiting to attain the throne due to his age) murdered in his sleep. He was awoken just in time by his mentor who gave him something to use “only at his most dire time of need” and told him to flee to the woods because “they won’t follow you there”. He was wrong. They did hesitate only momentarily before following him deep into the wood where he ended up meeting his “most dire need”. The object that was given him was the horn from the first movie which was supposed to call Queen Susan (or all the children apparently) back to Narnia. And this is where the story really gets started.
This movie is 2hrs and 20 minutes long, but it really doesn’t feel that way in the theatre. The story line is engrossing, the acting is [somewhat] believable and the visual effects are nice to behold. There were a few moments in the film that I felt rather frustrated that they didn’t act true to life… I found myself saying “kill him already!” to myself (and one time out loud lol) during a couple of scenes but I had to keep reminding myself that this movie is aimed at kids so of course an adult would have to be the one to finally do the killing because that would then be acceptable in the mind of the audience. I didn’t care who did it, I was just glad it was done.
Overall I liked this movie, even with the religious [OVER]tones (I’m sorry but I don’t remember there being such a strong Christian presence in the books, and at times it kinda distracted from the actual movie). I would give it a 3.5 stars/5…

Just so you know...

Lies are unbecoming.
If you choose to tell them rest assured that they will be discovered.
And when they are they will elicit a change that was before unimagined.

Reality. Is.

Baby Mama

This last weekend I was gifted with the opportunity to watch the movie “Baby Mama” and I must say that I would have been more than willing to pay for the movie since my date paid for the dinner but to pay for the movie means that I would have to utter the name to the cashier which in this case I didn’t want to do. So I more than willingly allowed him to pay for it. (hehe).

Altho the movie sounds rather… ghetto white trash… it was actually quite funny. It is about a single older woman who is successful in every aspect of her life except for the fact that she is not married and has never had a baby (and we count this as a non-success?). She decides that she doesn’t want to wait for a man any longer and attempts to have a baby on her in via invitro fertilization but discovers that this is not possible for her. Adoption is not an option for single women in America (5+ year waiting list) so she turns to her only other alternative: a surrogate. The story is then about the relationship and struggles between the surrogate mother and herself. There are some twists and turns and a “surprise” ending which is so text book fairy tale it almost ruined it for me but over all it was quite funny. I would give it 3/5 stars only because there were a lot of cliché moments and I really don’t like cliché…

June 01, 2008

Today is June 1st.
There is something special about this day, I mean, aside from the fact that this day marked Lucille Ball's and Desi Arnaz's second wedding anniversary in 1949 and that this was the day in 1951 that the international cheese treaty was signed, not to mention that on this day in 1938 superman appeared for the first time in comics and MLB decided that it would be a good idea for their players to wear protective helmets when up to bat. Oh and who can forget that this was the day that CNN first appeared on the air in 1980. All that is special in its own right, but not as special as the fact that this day marks one month until my 27th birthday!
27 you say… that is still so young (unless you are K who has more than informed me how OLD that is on many occasions), but to me it’s the end of an era. I will no longer be in my mid-twenties! From then on out, or at least for the next 3 years, I will then be in my LATE twenties which is only one step away from my *gasp**choke**do I really have to say it??* Thirties!
Oh man.. What am I doing sitting at this computer? I have things to do before its too late!