I am doing it again.
I may have found a good guy but I am about to pull the plug.
We went out on date #3 today (which is a milestone for me of late) but I just wasn’t feeling it. I sat there in pretty much silence the whole time. Its not like anything changed per se, but I just don’t know.
Lately I have been feeling very dismal. Very down. Gloomy. Out of sorts.
Why?
I don’t know.
There is nothing facilitating it.
I should be happy right now.
But I am not.
I think that it is time for me to just be alone to figure myself out. What I want out of my life. My school has suffered enough. E has been away from me for much too long. I need to stop forcing things and just left life happen.
And that is the last of my whininess. I’m sorry everyone.
4 comments:
You know, maybe it's none of my business, but you can always casually date someone. Not totally in love and not totally cutting them off. Just sort of seeing them when you have time to see them. (and for you that is not often) But this way when the blahs lift, the guy is still there...at arms length where it's safe!
What is this "Casual Dating"? You mean there are men out there that I can go out with and not have all the pressure for more that I am always getting from the men I've known??
Believe me, I would love to try that. To be able to just go out and have fun without having to worry about what I am going to be expected to do or not do at the end of the night would be a dream come true actually.
One way to free some of that pressure is to pay for yourself, some times men think if they buy you some pasta at a midpriced resturant once or twice that you "owe them" something. It's a shame there are woman out there who are really that cheap.
Maybe find a eunich? ha ha ha
Women who allow men to pay for things on dates are not necessarily "cheap". Certain situations invoke certain responses. When going to the movies am I really supposed to cause a scene and argue with the guy about how I want to pay for myself? Would it then be fair, or would there be expectations on my part if I was to pay for the man? What if I don't get any of the overpriced junk food that is sold on the inside? Wouldn't the fact that they would have more than willingly bought whatever I wanted, and I declined, then meant that I saved them a good $20 causing the ticket that they purchased on the outside to then be paid for?
You have to think about these things :)
And for the record.. I DO make it a very noticeable habit to pay for things myself to try and keep the running tab for the night at an even level. But that is because I don't like feeling dependent on people.
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